I don't know what the secret is ...

in Reflections10 days ago





To maintain lasting relationships, but what I do know is that if we do not seek therapeutic help, without a doubt, in the face of conflicts that it seems that they cannot be resolved, the relationship will really be lost.

I have had a long relationship of 47 years of marriage and I have also been several times to separate. The conflicts in love many times do not even have to do with love, but it has to do with growth, the way life is assumed in the different stages that are being lived, and the negotiations or not that are made in the relationship.

I am building and taking care of my relationship daily, we have a level of commitment from both parties to move forward, from experience I can tell you with certainty, that even going to therapy, if there is no such commitment, the relationship does not work.

There is also a point of honor for me!!!

I don't know, you should put the families of each member of the couple in the middle of the relationship, it's practically betting on the failure of the relationship. Setting limits in this regard is essential. It is a good agreement, agreement so that the commitment in relationship, does not die.

In fact, in my closest environment, which I see on the outside as lasting, they are simply solitudes that are accompanied by deep unhappiness, which have nothing to do with love but rather with habit.

It is for this reason that I am convinced that to the extent that we can grow together with our partner, we can negotiate our changes, communicate effectively, be totally honest about our desires, needs and ways of relationship, then the possibility that the relationship will be lasting and with love, will be much higher.

Relationships always need agreements, agreements. These agreements are made through communication, in addition to what I am writing here, for me, there must be forms of pleasure, common goals, and also the absolute commitment to accompany each other despite all the difficulties.

The relationship should add up to the greatest possible happiness for the members that make up the couple, and it has to be lived in a way in which peace, tranquility and emotional nutrition are present.

A big reason for breaking up, is to lose admiration for the partner, from my point of view, disappointment kills everything, in the relationship, it is like a deadly weapon.

Without real commitment, there is no worthwhile relationship.

Understanding that WE ALL change is essential, but we can also fall in love every day with the new person who is next to me, that's what has happened to my husband and I, thinking that it's only my husband who changes is a mistake, we mature, we grow, we live; the experience changes us all.

Janitze. 🌹



Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia


Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva


Translation with |DeepL