Quiet dignity ...

Growing up is an act of courage. It is the silent dignity of many of us.

For anyone who needs it...

Today I am learning to see fear more as a messenger that mobilizes me and less than a dictator that paralyzes me, because fear is part of life. But I am very clear that the world does NOT have to define our reality.

It is inevitable to get upset, the thing is to identify it, if the solution is not in our hands we should not get hooked. It sounds easy, but it's not...on the contrary, getting focused while being upset is quite a job until we recognize and accept it.

Recently, someone told me that the thing that generated her the most anxiety was the expectation of others about her, I'm talking about a good friend. I asked her exactly what others expected of her, and she replied that, in short, she had to fulfill all family mandates, for example, to be a good wife, daughter, mother and professional.

I told her that none of that was of any use at all. She stared at me, perplexed as if wondering??? What kind of friend are you that tells me that it is useless to be a good woman, mother, daughter etc.?

Catching her gaze, I replied...

There are things and situations that you can accept, but not understand. And vice versa. The detail is that you recognize which is which.

Besides, none of that matters if what you want is not born of you and your own expectations. Others can say what they want, but it is you who must define what is good for you, from yourself, not from others. Then, she asked me another question: Jani, and how do I do that?. I told her: it is not a question of "how", it is only a question of being, because when you focus on being (balance and fulfillment) ,the "How" ceases to matter. She looked at me and confessed that she didn't want to be a mother. She, my friend wanted to live her intimate life as she pleased, because she simply does not believe in marriage. She also told me, "I want to dedicate myself to other things that have nothing to do with my profession." I replied that whatever you choose to do will be fine when you no longer need to ask anyone if it's okay or not okay.

After a good hug 🫂 we said goodbye, by the way, she, my friend left with a smile from ear to ear, I think she had already found the "how to overcome your obstacles and walk through uncertainty".

I think we give a lot of power to what they will say, and really that takes us away from our authenticity, without a doubt, they teach us the opposite since we were children, the opposite, to "behave well" to gain external validation.

They are learned patterns that we can perfectly leave behind and accept that not everything is under our control.

From now on we must begin to live according to ourselves, this self-validation is fundamental to take the stores of our own life without feeding the expectations of others to get ahead.

The expectations of others are of that: of others and our life is "ours" because we have the power to choose the path to follow with the firm conviction that there is something more waiting for us on the other side of fear.

Janitze 🌹

Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia

Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva

Translation with |[DeepL](www.DeepL.com/Translator (English Version)