I understand your sentiment about not always asking for help from others. It's understandable that you want to rely on yourself as much as possible, but it's important to recognize that it's not always easy to do so. Sometimes, despite our efforts, we may still need assistance from others, and that's okay. It's a process of learning to balance independence with the understanding that it's okay to seek support when needed.Since there are times when we indeed need assistance, whether we admit it or not, some things are difficult to do alone. It's not wrong to ask for help, especially when you're struggling. By being open to seeking support, you may find it easier to overcome challenges. There's a quote from a book I once read, although I can't recall the title, that goes, "You don't know how to help others if you don't know how to help yourself." Perhaps your current feelings are influenced by that. I hope you heal from all your struggles and allow yourself to enjoy the things and people around you. Don't let pain defeat you; let's keep fighting in life💜.
I have always visualized this like in a plane - put on your own mask, before helping others. Two passed out people aren't much help to anyone.