These last few weeks have been a little difficult in terms of health, I have not been feeling well, I don't know if it is the result of stress or simply the situation we are living at home, but I went and had some medical exams, but I have not been able to go to the doctor and take them because these weeks my mother has been complicated and we have to take care of her.
It has been two weeks that we have advanced one step and gone back 10, it is as if the light is going out little by little, my sister and I do everything humanly possible for her to be well, but sometimes I feel that nothing works, have you ever felt it?
I understand the processes of life and the destiny of each person, but it is one thing to understand and another thing to live it in the flesh.
In addition to the emotional impact I have with seeing my mother with her health problem, you find that in my country health care sucks, I can understand that this sector is not well paid, but apart from dealing with the economic part because getting sick in my country is a luxury if you go to a public health center you have to buy even the gloves that will be used to check the patient, you also have to deal with the apathy of the staff.
Impossible to go to a private clinic hospitalization costs are unimaginable, my mother's illness the expenses are daily, recently a neighbor approached me to ask me how my mother was and I do not want her to ask me maybe she does it with good intentions or simple morbid people like to feed their lives with the lives of others or it is also because I am with altered emotions although I do not show it is true, but I carry my cross inside.
What you can do
I live every stage of my mother's health, it gives me great sadness to see how this strong, generous, brave woman, who is moving forward is fading, I watch her and that gives me a pain in my soul, I know that many will be thinking that this is the law of life, I know, but it is not easy to live this process with the one you love as your mother is, of course she still has a certain degree of lucidity, she feels shame, for now I can only drain my feelings here because I do not show her my emotions, she has been going through this process for a long time.
In this stage of life the best thing to do is to keep calm, control your emotions and give the best of yourself and the patient the best possible quality of life. In one of the many conversations with my mom she told me I don't want to die she feels afraid of the never revealed mystery of death besides the depression she feels it is a difficult situation.
In this situation I ask myself is it worth living like this? or are we so selfish that we prefer to keep her alive because of our feelings, but at what cost? I do not know I think the situation many things go through my mind this emotional physical wear has me delirious for now we must move forward waiting for God to decide the future and above all keep calm there are situations in life that can not be controlled.
@nill2021
Photos of my property, use of deelp translator
Yes, unfortunately and I can feel your pain as I've been there.
That is very true, this is why we deal with similar situations differently. There are no right words in cases like this and no matter what people tell you, you need to deal with your emotions yourself. This is the ugly and brutal truth dear Nill. I went through that at a very young age and learnt this lesson.
Anyway, I wish your mom and you all the best, hang in there! 🤗
Greetings my dear Erika, thank you for your words it is a difficult situation that only the one who lived it or the one who is living it knows. It only remains to move forward blessings