Complaining is fine, as long as it is followed up by actions.
Yeah, it's the passivity that shits me. I knew a guy once - quite a close friend - who was a bit of a stoner but worked hard and made some good investments. Ended up snorting a lot of it and lost his wife and now lives in a shitty house where, no shit, you can see the bare earth through the floorboards.
I avoid him if I see him - there's a lot of lamentation about what went wrong (nothing to do with him of course) and how everything is going to hell in a hand basket.
I feel sorry for him but at the same time it's like, dude, sort your life out, you used to be a smart guy. Make good choices.
Our emotions arise before we have a chance to choose anything, however we are able to only after choose how we react to them and perhaps parse the emotion and choose to focus on other aspects
Yeah from a yogic or Buddhist perspective those base emotions can be observed, but shouldn't be acted upon, unless of course they are 'good' - kindness, compassion etc. The more you practice recognizing these emotions, the stronger that muscle gets, til eventually, positive reactions arise FIRST.
But that's the kind of philosophy that takes a while for most people to learn - that's what I mean about having guidance. If we knew our minds and how they worked, we might fare a little better. Add community and it's a much better recipe for happiness.