When life is a bit different when you get older, from exited to what is happening? The breeze of the wind with a little touch of sadness and worries when the past time it’s all jolly and at ease. Every time you’ll ask yourself how did we get here? When the last time you knew you just don’t care at anything at all. The shallow path of life where it’s all shaky when on your younger self you just cross that path with a skippy action and an excitement that says “I can’t wait to grow up and reach that stage of life.”
You always wish on something for you to be free and do what you can do, deny it but sometimes you dreamed of something impossible to ease the hardest stage of life. You always thought that life is just an easy obstacle that only a fee scratch from a knee can br healed, a few swings and slide will make you feel better because you’re always excited when your mom calls you and said “I have something for you from the market.” And you always put a smile on your face because you know someone can be trusted and you can rely on anything.
You’re not worried on how you dress, you can’t be sad about the hair day because a mother’s touch on a hair can fix anything especially when you have two pigtails or a french braid. You’ll be excited on an exam, every snack time you always go to that canteen with a bunch of kids like you finding something sweet and something savory, maybe you’ll be worried on the past and that’s U.T.I. Every lunch time, you’ll get excited on the food that you had in your lunchbox because you know that your parents can always cook the things they knew you’d like. It’s funny because when you think about anything and reminiscing the past, you can see yourself and the changes that you know in some ways you can’t control. It’s a bitter sweet feeling, a taste of beauty because you know you have the great childhood memories but a little bit of that is you want those back, you want those to be brought back to you and hug those things because you know that you can’t be that little warrior who fights are only germs on the surroundings.
It’s very funny to think about now, how I always skip breakfast and how I always skip lunch to save up money for me to buy things I’d like. How I always take a careful look on how I walk not because I’ll trip but it’s how people judge and talk about my figure, how I always take notice and take a small glance at the mirror and how my makeup is going on so that I can retouch it. A comb that I’ll always bring so that I won’t have that bad hair day and anyone may think I don’t do hygiene enough, how I always wear perfume so that someone can be pleased of how I smell and won’t say anything. It’s sad because I’ve never did those back then, I live back then with no worries but now I live to survive and be strong for me to not gonna be vanished in the world.
It’s a big comparison, it’s a life with a survival mode and you know why? Yes, some people can say “don’t listen to them” or something that “it’s your own choice, do what you want” but heaven knows if you don’t have the confidence or mentality to be like that life is easier and life is full of people with unique things and ability. I know I care, about the opinion and about the people think of me because I care to myself and want to protect me at all cost from the harsh mouth of society. It’s a survival of people that you have to hold on tight, wake up with something in my mind like “it’s another day and hope it gets better everyday.” You don’t live up to be the little warrior anymore, you live up now to be the General in your life and protect yourself from the negative energy and the feelings that may trigger you to give up.
It’s amazing how much changes as we grow older, this just hits hard. 🥺🤍
It's kind of hard but we need to accept this kind of thing.
Adulting hits different, when we were just a child we always wish of growing fast, but as we grow old we also share a part of the worlds burden hahaha.
Yes, this is real.
ik it hasn't been easy, te shann. You've been through so much and I'm so glad you're still here, making people happy with everything that you do. we love you, ate shaann. I hope someday you finally live the happy, healthy life that you deserve. fighting lang gyud kay cutie biya kaayo imong baby, buyag lang
I'm glad I did! Surviving lang japun as well as you too Xav.❤️❤️
We really miss to be a kid right? Growing up has a lot of challenges but I know you can overcome those miss. 😊
Yes true, I hope we all can overcome.❤️
Reading your blog made me feel so sentimental and brought back waves of childhood nostalgia. With graduation just around the corner for me (hopefully next year), it hits differently. I can’t help but think I shouldn’t have been in such a rush to grow up as a kid—I really miss the innocence and naivety of those days in a world that can sometimes feel so harsh.😔
Indeed it is, all I do is help myself cope up and heal my inner child but still not enough though.🙁
A relatable take on adulthood's challenges T_T
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but, as we grow older we become wiser too ☺️
Adulthood can be tough, but your strength is inspiring. Keep going @shannjevie 🥺💗