Well, for starters, I am thankful that you're still moving. Because it means that you'renot dead. You know, I haven't read every post you've made, but somewhere along the line I gathered that you have suffered a stroke. It isn't obvious to me that you have sustained damage from the stroke, but to you the lack of motivation is a glaring reminder.
Having no education or training in this area, I don't have many ideas to offer. One thing, though, would be to recruit your family to assist you with making decisions with rapidity, without taking time to think. So if your daughter was to quiz you with a deck of flash cards. She may tell you to choose the seashell. When she flashes a card in each hand, one with a seashell and one with a banana. You will choose instantly, without thinking. Could be numbers, could be words or pictures...just two separate things. I know it sounds juvenile, but you are retraining your brain to make snap decisions by repetition. Your daughter (or wife or friend) will give you feedback. You will get bored with the game but keep playing because you will get to where you don't have to actively think about it.
Another thing that is fun once you get going is to play spoons, a card game. It is played with three or more people and will also help with those snap decisions as well as reading the other players. If you aren't familiar with the game you can google it.
Maybe 'playing' isn't what you would prefer to be doing, but peeling back the layers and developing that part of your brain like a small child has to do to develop intuition and critical thinking. Enlist the aid of Smallsteps, for she naturally will enjoy playing games and it is a way for her to develop empathy and a desire to help those in need.
If none of this trips your trigger, feel free to disregard, but you're so damned smart I just had to try to uplift your spirits and offer hope.
It isn't obvious to most people I meet - but it is constantly there for me in many ways. There is no respite, other than when I make my mind blank and don't think, but that is such an unnatural state, that it is sometimes more off-putting. It is like an in between state, not on, not off.
In the first six months to a year after a stroke, some repair can happen - after that, apparently not much. The brain games can improve the ability for the game through repetition, but they don't translate into real life very well. It is like what they teach is context specific, and real life lays outside of those frames. I play word games and math games with my daughter though, because they are good for her, not me :)
I have heard Spoons is fun, but have never played. Will check it out.
Now that I think about it, it isn't about making decisions, but it is about making better decisions in the moment. I can make a decision, but it is lacking a lot of collateral needed to make it a good one. Even if I take the time, I am unable to trawl my subconscious, because it is out of reach.
Perhaps I should try mushrooms! :D
Now that would trip your trigger lol
If we can go our whole lives and never stop learning, is it not possible to teach our brain to think and perform differently, or at an elevated level? I have to think that it can, though I personally have NO proof of that lol