Everyone is a little bit sick around here at the moment, though Smallsteps is now almost recovered. My wife has been feeling it the most, but she will head away again to Helsinki for the final Presidential count tomorrow night. It is likely to be a pretty close contest, but currently, the candidate she backs is probably in a slight lead, according to the pollsters.
I don't care for politics.
Yet care or don't care, as we are still governed, we are pretty much all affected in some way by the outcomes of these decisions. However, I also believe that while we are affected, there is little we can do to affect our world, and we are better off spending the majority of our attention on the things that are win our control and sphere of influence. We have essentially been conditioned to put the majority of our "care" into an external view, discussing things that we are unable to affect much, while neglecting the things that we are. For instance, talking with a psychologist yesterday, I was saying to her how it is crazy that the aspects that take up most of our energy, are taboo to discuss.
Sex. Money. Power.
Think about how often you think about those three things, and the things that are related to those in some way. Yet, how often do you openly discuss them? Most probably, much of your discussion is like mine, where it is rather mundane, daily grind kind of talk - Organizing schedules, getting bills paid, and various events that don't necessarily add that much value to our lives, but have to be considered. Yet, we are also surrounded by people who like us, have more important things on their mind, but are unwilling to openly discuss them.
Fear of judgement?
I feel that money is probably the lowest hanging fruit to start with, because it is something that can be discussed with some level of process involved, and it is somewhat external to us. But, it also impacts on the other two in many ways, as it affects our opportunities. However, talk to anyone about money, and there are very few who don't take it personally, who aren't emotional over it. Even the people who say they don't care about money, get emotional in some way talking about it and often, their lack of care, would be better described as a lack of understanding.
I remember a discussion with a friend who heads up finance at a pharmaceutical, so as you can imagine, is pretty "money literate". He was having a conversation about the economy with some of his wife's friends, who are far more "blue collar" in their jobs, and they were talking about investments and how the company owners shaft normal people to increase profits. All true. However, what they didn't seem to realize, is that they themselves are those very owners. Even though they know that they have retirement funds, they don't seem to understand how those funds make their money grow, which is by investing into companies that drive for profit. The better their retirement fund does, the more people that were likely screwed over in some way.
These people were very upset at my friend.
They don't care about money enough to even learn about what their own money is doing, yet they are very emotional when talking about it. This is common. And it is the same for the sex and power discussions too, which actually go hand in hand. People normally think about power being power over others, but that is not actually what most people should be looking at in my opinion. Instead, they should be looking at power over themselves, self-control, emotional balance, skill development, mental strength, resilience, and a million other aspects within their control, but it is too personal for many to openly discuss.
But, instead of working on ourselves, having conversations with people like us, about topics where we likely have overlap, we push the discussions into the impersonal areas - politics, and social movements. Look at the conversations around "weight" and how emotional people get about how society discusses the topic. But, if people put as much effort into improving their personal condition as they do in complaining about how others portray them, perhaps they would have a stronger sense of self, more control, and actually love themselves. A picture on a magazine cover doesn't represent me, and I don't expect it to.
Nor need it to.
The weight of that person, their looks, whether they are photoshopped, or take Ozempic, or a million other things about them, don't concern me at all. I don't have to be influenced, no one is forcing me to buy the magazine, no one is making me eat junk food. If we spent a little bit more time developing our own personal power, perhaps we wouldn't spend our lives being triggered by the external world.
Another emotional discussion, right?
And when it comes to sex, what are we actually discussing? Is it the physical act, the ideals, the human needs for intimacy, the desire that we have to be known to others, to be part of a community, a society and to feel relevant? What does the public discourse look like when we discuss these things, and what does it look like when we talk about one of the most impactful things on our lives? Do we openly discuss with friends?
Highly unlikely.
Most likely, we only scratch the surface of the discussions we need to have, because we fear being judged for our views, our opinions, our preferences. We fear that we are too different, that it will lead to us being ridiculed, shamed or missing out on opportunities. And likely, we are right to fear because these aspects of our lives are used against us - they are a control mechanism. Discussing them openly disempowers them, takes away their ability to have power of us. Which is why they were made taboo in the first place.
We have been silenced from the discussions that matter.
While people argue about freedom of speech on Twitter.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
All three are more or less misunderstood, in my opinion, in one way or another, by most of the people. And yet, mastering one, you master them all. In some strange way.
How familiar are you with the concept of 'personal power' from Carlos Castaneda's books?
They are all connected, aren't they? I think similarly - improving one, improves them all - yet, we likely focus on the wrong parts of each.
Not at all. Have never heard.
Check it, you will like it. Ultra-short version: every moment you are happy, every moment you do something great, is like a part of your final dance. And when you die, you will do the whole dance, going through every moment when you used your 'power' to achieve greatness. And even Death needs to wait for you to finish your final dance. The art of living even if you know that you will die.
I don't have fair of politicians of my country because all of them just trying to get power for their own will,
They're not allowing us to talk against them, because truth always remain bitter 😠
I wonder, if the average person from the country was in power, would they behave any differently?
They don't allow anyone to talk against even if they're doing bad ;(
I don't think it is really taboo, but rather the audience can be limited at times. Talking about sex with friends isn't taboo. When young, some would even be proud that they lost their virginity, or share that they have plans during valentine's day. Parents can bring it up to their children to make sure they are practicing safe sex. Company gossip talk about hookups in the office. But that's where it usually stops. No one really wants to know the details. No one wants to imagine the person they know naked. Majority of sex talks are between the people doing it.
Same goes for money and power. I discuss investments and business ideas with my friends a lot of times. But I don't bring those topics up to people that I know are struggling. I can bring up money saving strategies I do, and also hear what they do to use for my own.
It's all about knowing the audience, and identifying the correct topics to talk about. I actually find topics like Addiction, Abuse, and Depression as more taboo topics than those 3.
My point is, at what depth? It might not be (in my circles it was) to brag about having sex, but think about all the other sides around it, the things that matter - do people dive deep into that?
Again, the circle is very small, isn't it? Should it be? I don't think so. This "small circle" is what makes it taboo.
I don't know about you, but the circle isn't small in my case. I'm introverted, and the number of people I interact with might be considered small, but I don't think I've encountered a situation where it was taboo. Most, if not all, of the people I've communicated with have been very interested when we talk about investments, business, and money. If it's about making more money, I haven't met anyone that is against it. My previous coworkers bought crypto, and are still updating our chat when it goes up. Another coworker bought stocks, and have been asking for tips and suggestions. My friend has been discussing about his plans on opening a small crepe shop, and wants me to try some of the menu.
By things that matter are you referring to these: "... the ideals, the human needs for intimacy, the desire that we have to be known to others, to be part of a community, a society and to feel relevant"? Honestly, it is arguable if these can be considered in the same level as sex; I don't. A lot of these, for me, fall into the category of Love. But either way, I still don't consider them as taboo, but rather, people are hesitant to talk about these because they make people feel vulnerable. A lot of these tackle the deep insecurities of a person, their inner workings, and their weaknesses. It is not that it is taboo, people just choose who they want to be vulnerable with.
Try discussing these things with strangers, then see if it is taboo? Taboo isn't about discussing things with friends, it is about the culture of discourse.
If you discuss these with strangers, I see a lot of replies possible. If you discuss money, they will think you're trying to scam them. If you look legit, people will listen. I bought an investment linked insurance inside a bank from a stranger. I wasn't there looking for one, but I liked the pitch. I also sold an investment linked insurance to a stranger. Like I said, it is looking for the right audience.
If you want to talk about sex with strangers, that is just crazy. One because that is just too much info [TMI]. Would you talk about your diarrhea to strangers? Another reason is, why would strangers care about your intimacy problems or ideals. They don't know you, they have better things to do. If you go to an art community and want to be part of that community, they will welcome you with open arms. If you go to a gym and ask the stranger veterans about your fitness goals and ideal body, a lot of them will be happy to help. Like I said, it is about knowing the audience.
Sometimes I find it silly, we choose who will govern us. Can't we govern ourself on our own? I think we can.
Apparently, we can't be trusted.
I often feel that with my own family ( especially my mom and siblings living in The Netherlands ).
I tend to talk about all of the aforementioned topics with my friends though, aside from, perhaps, sex. Not that I have much too share about that though, at the moment. ;<)
I think I care less about politics even than how you do and that’s because our politicians act useless
It feels bad to be governed and they are not doing what we expect of them so why care about them?
Weather is changing that's why it's happening. I'm also suffering from flu, fever it's a bad vibes