When I fell down the stairs last night, I was talking with Smallsteps, and as I got up holding my shoulder, I swore quite loudly, knowing that it was going to be pretty bad, as the pain was immediate. Smallsteps got pretty scared, but I couldn't immediately check on her, as I moved myself to somewhere I could sit down and then check damage and catch my wits. But it got me thinking as to how I would have reacted at her age, and I don't think I would have been anywhere near as scared. And I think this comes down to experience, as with three older brothers, people getting hurt and gruesome injuries, were pretty common.
Yesterday, I had lunch with a couple colleagues and we got into a philosophical discussion about creativity and incentive, after I asked them the question of what they would do if they were knowingly the last ones on earth. People tend to answer with their intuition, but the challenge is that while we might think we know what we would do, without experience, we don't actually know. And, making comparisons to seemingly similar, but actually not even close knowledge doesn't help.
For instance, comparing being the last one on earth to the activities of a hermit might seem logical, but it is not the case at all, because the hermit knows they are not the last one, even if they might want to be. Another example is more common, where people posit answers to the "If I were a billionaire" question, because without actually being in that situation, probability says that they will be much like the other billionaires. If they millions it in the lottery however, probability says that they will likely be far less financially savvy than they think they would be.
We can't well imagine what it is like to be dead. We can't well imagine what it is like if we never existed at all. We just don't have the capabilities. We might think we are imagining well, but it is highly unlikely. When it comes to our behaviours in a more practical setting, we aren't actually very good at predicting how we are going to react to conditions, unless we have experience in those conditions, or have simulated it accurately enough.
Even if Smallsteps has seen accidents before, so far, she hasn't had to do anything about it. She hasn't had to call an ambulance, or nurse a deep cut, or carry the weight of one of her parents to the couch. This is a good thing, but what it also means is that in a situation where she is called on to act, she doesn't know what to do. And even if she does know, she might not be able to act in the moment, because some people tend to panic in these kinds of situations, and that leads to poor reactions.
After, I sat down with Smallsteps, let her know I was okay and went through what had happened. I also suggested that in those kinds of situations, she can be scared, but try not to panic, and then see what needs to be done, or ask if there is anything that she can do. Often of course there is not, but going through the process helps someone focus on something other than their own fear. Ultimately though, talking about it only goes so far and in order to build the necessary responses, experience is required.
This will come naturally over time.
What I think though, is that the experiences of many kids today is quite different to when I was a kid. There are different structures in place, different risks. But, no matter what they might face, having ways to mitigate panic and slow down thinking in order to work through the problems, is still needed. A lot of skills are still needed, but I don't think the digital space does a great job of providing opportunities to learn and practice them, perhaps because there is little immediate consequence to failure -
like there is when someone falls down the stairs.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Oof looks like I have some catching up to do what O_O
How's the shoulder?!
And the small one okay now? Stuff like that is "fun" to witness as an adult never mind when you're all tiny and stuff.
I might have dodged a far worse outcome with it - I will give it a day or two more to see if it is healing well enough to not go to the doctor. Though, perhaps I should just go and make sure.
Seeing people fall over is only hilarious when there is just a bit of pain, but a lot of embarrassment. :)
If there's swelling or pain level not reducing much you better have gone XP
You should definitely probably just go and make sure.
When I play video games I only play hardcore; so I'll sometimes die and lose a character I have 50+ hours in. A few years ago, I'd gotten a character further in the game progression than ever before, managed to kill a new, very difficult boss, who throws off waves of projectiles.
The boss died. I almost died. Started celebrating and about to take a health potion, when one of the projectiles fell out of the sky and killed me.
I didn't swear, but I growled in frustration and slammed my control pad down on a nearby pillow. My boy, Fletch was 8 or 9 at the time, and got really upset because he hadn't seen me react emotionally to pretty much anything, his whole life.
Everything's relative; but it's easy to forget how large a portion of their worldview we are.
NB: It was Queen Slime in Terraria for anyone wondering.
This is something I keep trying to remind myself of, but I fail time and time again. I am a great role model perhaps 80% of the time, okay another 10%, but the last 10% - I wish I could contain that...
My friend, how do you wake up after that fall, have you hurt yourself?
We must pay attention to where we walk, we can't take anything for granted? The bumps of youth appear with age and we think they are ‘old people's aches and pains’. With age we lose certain skills, as you well know, and that forces us to be cautious.
Smallsteps' tenderness is not questionable, she will certainly do what she can do in any emergency, but it is good that you teach her to be prepared, how to call the emergency number, a friend or mum, the nearest neighbour?
A hug full of blessings.
In pain. However, it is hopefully not too bad and will heal.
She "knows" what she should do, but if push comes to shove, will she have the presence to do it? Hopefully!
Wow, that sounds pretty rough, but it sounds like you handled it quite well. I remember having to call an ambulance for my dad when I was pretty much an adult and it was still scary. I wasn't a stranger to incidents either, but it's tough to be in that kind of situation no matter how prepared you are. I hope you are able to recover well. I blew out my rotator cuff a couple months ago and I am still healing.
Yeah, I hate being in those situations, but there have been several already. The worst involved Smallsteps having a seizure when young, it was brutal, but we made it through. It was only after at the hospital that I was able to relax a bit.
This sucks. Did you have to have any treatment?
Yeah, I got an ultrasound treatment the other day and it seems to be helping. It hurt at the time though. My dad's issue was also a seizure, so I know how scary that can be and how helpless it can make you feel.
Just by reading (this post and the previous one) I felt the true "ugly" and sharp pain... The description is pretty much accurate, since I had one episode when I was younger, that I displaced my shoulder joint, when I was in a swimming lesson. I remember to be in the hospital waiting room, after the triage, and the pain was so sharp... I was told that the articulation is not perfect, and that the displacement could happen again, and that it could be advantageous to underwent a shoulder surgery. I hadn't been in surgery, and decided to do some muscular reinforcement. The lesson that you passed to Smallsteps is very important. To see what can be done, and not to panic in a "bad" situation. I hope you recover well and without any after-effects from your fall. Cheers
I think this is generally the smart move, as surgeries can have other waterfall effects. Better the devil you know in many cases like this. Did it ever happen again?
Just one more time. I was in a van trip to Barcelona, with a group of friends from faculty. We caught one of the worst blizzards of the century in the Catalonia region, I think it was 1999. We had no experience of driving in snow and had to stop in Lleida to buy snow chains for the van's tyres. As we were walking along the streets, I slipped on the icy pavement and fell, and with the sudden movement I made with my right arm, my shoulder ended up dislocating again. It was a pain I still remember today, but I had the cold blood to push my arm back into position. Since then, I've been careful with the posterior movements of my right scapulohumeral joint. But from what I've heard, the placement of the surgical anchor ends up limiting the movements themselves... So I think I've made the best decision. Today, I have much more strength and capacity for movement in my right shoulder. I have no regrets about not having opted for surgery.
Was just thinking about this today. The immediacy of relations is lost via email or text, and we don't know what to do when an event is face to face, no time to consider what the right or wrong reaction might be, more genuine to swear in front of small steps. Good for her to see I think, and to see you calm down and be reasonable after the shock.
How's your shoulder today? Nothing more than sore, I hope.
This touches on online dating and the apps. My friends have said "the guys are clever, witty, funny... until meeting them in real life." - Can't Google the perfect meme while sitting at dinner.
Painful, but the pain is easing. Hopefully it was a muscle thing only, like a hyperextension.
A strain. Should heal.
Well, learning first aid, at least at a basic level and familiarizing with injuries, even as a picture may help a little. Doing drills may get you close to a decent reaction when unexpected happens.
Drilling might help Smallsteps, as she tends to like the "homework" approach to things.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to be a millionaire. Would I still want more? Or would I be happy or at least content? It is a shame that it is unlikely that I will ever find out.
Unless Hive goes to 1000+ dollars in my life time...I'd like to test the theories out there about what wealth does to a person :)
We can imagine many things, but that does not mean that they are true or that they exist, he is right. The only thing that strengthens us is the experience, the years The theory, the knowledge is very good, but in the end it is empty, without practice.
Knowledge isn't power - power is how you use the knowledge.
It's good the fall didn't cause you that much problems. You did a good thing sitting down with Smallsteps to talk about the experience and teach her how to respond to such situations. The digital space provides little avenues for learning essential skills that are necessary for handling real-life situations and I think it falls on the parents to teach them to their kids. That way we get to raise competent and capable children.
Capable children aren't raised on screens - though, I guess it depends on what one values perhaps :)
Sorry for your fall, I am hoping you feel good and your arm is good.
Well the child in this moment do not know what to do in stressful situation, we do not do anything to prepared our children.
Best regards.
It is a double-edged sword. I want to protect her, and I want her to learn. Sometimes, those things aren't possible together.
Of course the Father sentiment could be hard.
Please don't fall down the stairs again. Don't scare your daughter. Just promise her this. And so it will be.
Wouldn't it be nice if accidents were so easy to avoid? :D
Sorry to hear mate. Sometimes I am baffled with stairs while going up or down and had risk to fall down. This mostly happens if there is not enough light.
I just slipped and then couldn't regain my footing. I think we might have to put some non-slip tape down.
Smallsteps was scared because she wasn't old enough or equipped to deal with his emotions and take responsibility. She was scared for you and scared as if it had happened to him.
Old enough, but not equipped, you are right. She hasn't the experience yet.
Glad you are ok and guess you may be a bit stiff. I learned never wear socks whilst walking down carpeted stairs. I was carrying my son who must have been 3 or so at the time and he rode down on my stomach. He thought this was great fun and asked to go again lol. Smallsteps over time will know what to do even though we do protect our kids they have to learn the basics.
This time, it was socks on painted stairs
:D