So I have spend the day in bed today. Unfortunately, it was not for pleasure. Upon waking this morning, I soon realised my back was still sore. I got up and made my way to the compost toilet, when I was making my way back, up to the terrace where my truck is parked, I got a sharp pain down my left leg. Felt my back twitch and tighten and knew I had to get back to my bed, so that I could lie down. That included climbing 4 steps, which my back did not enjoy. Once I got to my bed, I had to lower myself gently. so I could lie down. My phone was next to my bed, there was no way I could work, so I had to send a message to cancel my job.
I, like many others, do not like being stuck in bed ( unless it is for the right reasons). Especially if it is difficult to get and stay comfortable. But I had no choice, when I tried to get up, the pain worsened, so I lay down again. Lowering myself down gently once again. I'm really trying to be more gentle with myself. It has indeed been quite the theme for me this year. Gentleness.
This year, has been quite full on for me. Well the last 5 years to be honest, but I think that has been the way for many. It has been intense, as I have had to face, so many things that were buried within. The great unearthing, of all the pain I had stored away. Coming face to face, with the different mindsets I have and recognising my relationship with life and how I have grown to expect, that life is a struggle.
Don't get me wrong, I'm also really good at having fun and making the most of life, but I always seem to slide into this mindset, that my life should be a struggle, because that is what will make me stronger. I know that being gentle with myself, is a sign of strength, but my body still struggles to believe it, to live it. I'm really working on it, hence why I'm writing about it again. I'm holding myself accountable.
I had plans to catch up with some friends tomorrow, have some food and then enjoy some music together. But, well it is just not meant to be, as it looks like I will be spending my evening/night at home.
Which I have been doing a lot of lately and I have been enjoying it as well. I don't think I have ever hibernated this much during the winter months. But then again, I don't think I have ever needed to, this much either.
All images used in this post are mine.
I'm so sorry about your back, love. I hope you're back on your feet soon. Until then, don't be too hard on yourself. Yes, struggle makes us stronger, but if it was all struggle all the time, I don't think that would create an uber-strong individual. Eventually, it would all capsize. So take your breaks where you find them, cause the struggle part seems to be a given.
Thank you lovely, yes I am breaking through some stubborn patterns right now xxx
Had the same problem in late August, after a short but very intense trip. I found out that staying in bed was the best for the pain. Mostly on one side, with a pillow between the knees. I gave myself permission to simply rest, give my spine a chance to heal. It did heal, without doctors or dangerous painkillers. I wanted to write a post about this 'giving yourself permission to rest', but never got to, as for a few weeks sitting on any sort of chair brought the pain back. I'm sure with a bit of rest and me time you'll be fine, but it is probably also a warning that you're driving youself too hard. Take care of yourself!🤗
Yes rest as been the best thing, that's for sure. I do need to be more gentle with myself, that one I am finding a bit harder. Thanks @ladyrebecca xx