I finally got word that I can be sworn in as administrator for my dead brother's meager estate.
This should be good news, so why am I so depressed (and have been for several days)?
Some who know me might claim it is because of alcohol, and that may be so in a left handed sort of way (I haven't had any alcohol since last weekend, so is this withdrawal?)
I had to postpone the final work on my new patio; I've engaged someone to come in and finish/polish off what I started.
They were going to come next week, but I had a dental appointment next Wednesday, and have to go to the small town where my brother died Thursday to be sworn in as administrator, then Friday go to the nearby town where he had his little bit of money.
Then I must pay back his former landlords/adopted family for his Cremation and back rent he owed.
The legal fees I think will be taken care of at the bank.
I stayed in bed all day today, NOT sick, NOT queasy, just no will nor motivation to get up.
The only time I went out earlier was to water some plants, then go out to da sto for some Gin and Tonic and Lime Juice.
This is Labor Day Weekend in the USA, which means it is a dangerous time because so many will be drinking and firing their guns.
I for one intend to remain inside all weekend.
↑Left on my car door a few moments ago↑
Would everyone pray for me please? Finishing up my sad duties for my brother should be a weight lifted off my shoulders, so why am I so depressed?
source
Depression is hell
by
Jerry E Smith
©8/30/2024
Image is from Pixabay
by
Jerry E Smith
©8/30/2024
Image is from Pixabay
You are in my prayers Jerry and I think about you a lot more than a lot of people I know in this world.
It is understandable why this process is so debilitating for you, and to do this all by yourself is a compounding factor to the depression.
I worry about your drinking and would like to send you a package with something that may help weed out the propensity to drink.
Please don't hesitate to utilize discord for a more private place to talk with those of us who care about you, but also there is no pressure either. Please try not to go overboard with the drinking, I know it is not easy.
This is a time when it may feel like the world is on your shoulders. The objects that you receive from a decedent relative don't replace the human who is lost, and the loneliness that results from losing those around you. Could this be the reason that you're feeling this way?
Certainly, I can't answer that... but it's important to find someone with whom you can spend time and talk, face-to-face. This is not something that you should face by yourself. You know it well yourself - this can be overwhelming.
Of course, we're here for you, and will listen and talk. But find someone in person to do so, as well. There's no replacement for the real deal.
I continue to wish you the strength to get through this difficult time and find happier, shinier days ahead. There will be good days.
I'm working on a children's story about sorrow and loss. One of my library patrons mentioned needing a book for her child who had a friend moving away. A neighbor girl lost her mother about 10 years ago. Suicide is an epidemic now, and kids miss friends. It seems we have a cultural blindness to anything sad, and little in the way of support for those who are down. "It'll get better soon." Maybe, but that doesn't make now good. "Just fake it 'til you make it!" We feel worse when we know we are being fake, though. Don't beat yourself up over not feeling like you feel you should feel, if that makes any sense. Grief had a place, and takes time, so you needn't feel guilt on top of it.
I wish the light reaches your path and takes you where you need to go.
Praying that the dark cloud be lifted from you and the brilliant light of salvation shine upon you.