Much love and good energies to you.
!LUVHi @squids, from what you share through your story you are living a very complex situation. You should, as far as possible, seek specialized help: medical or institutional. There must be a foundation that can give you support, a women's aid foundation. Sharing with your friends is fine, but you need professional support, don't let yourself get wrapped up in negativity, solutions exist and you should think about it.
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I'll have to find a better therapist then, Thanks for reading and thanks for the advice!