I appreciate all you've done for the community, bro. I'm not often very active on SPLTV but I do understand that there's a lot going on in the background and a lot of that can be attributed to your work and I hope that anyone else who sees that let's you know.
I'm in the same boat that I also want to minimize taking leaves or days off to a minimal as possible but from a data driven stand point, you might also want to look into that stats of those. I understand these aren't necessarily SMART goals and data might be a bit all over the place but maybe something like:
- Productivity of workers who maximize leaves
- Happiness of workers who maximize leaves
In the past few years, I've learned to let things go and try to make sure 'me' time is a priority. I think you are somewhere in between and I hope you realize that there is nothing wrong with taking days off both for your well being and mental health. The workplace will continue and the world won't end if you take a break. In fact, you definitely should take a break so that you can come back invigorated and stronger! This might help you get your passion burning again whether its for SPL, photography, or something else entirely. Burnout is a very real thing and you feeling guilty of taking breaks is hindering you from your recovery time so please take those days off as much as you can.
I'll end this off with: "You are the main character in your own life".
Regardless of what you choose to do and what you choose to pursue, just remember that there are a lot of people who appreciate you and that means a lot. Take a break, hopefully you do and wish you the best!
People always say that taking a step back to relax, recharge, or do something else is good and healthy. In reality, what I find it often leads to is a burdensome pile of "Catch up" when you return to that task or pursuit in the future.
This makes the time off or away difficult to enjoy; and much like people who say that in a relationship "they need some time apart"; it often ends with not having the courage to say "I don't think I want this anymore", perhaps out of fear of hurting themselves, or out of fear of hurting the other.
Proxying a heartbreak or sadness is certainly never productive.
Regarding protagonist syndrome - there's one of me. There's literally billions of others. We're all NPCs. Nothing makes one person more special than the other. We're all equals. Some can contextualise and admit this; while others climb upon pedestals of self-importance and hubris.
To quote a 90s singer song writer you may know: This pedestal is tall and I'm afraid of heights.
Catch up work is real for sure, but in like any high functioning workplace, there are contingencies in place for things like these which I'm sure you already know.
It got so bad for me that I would work Christmas and New Year's even. Letting go made things a lot easier for me physically and mentally. I'm not saying this is the end all be all solution, but if you haven't explored that area further, maybe it'll do you good. My other pushback is that if you can think about letting go of SPL which you spent 5 years on, why not think about it in a micro level of taking a few days or weeks out of work as well? If you can plan it with someone to cover for you or handle any contingencies, wouldn't that give you peace of mind to focus on yourself during the break?
I'm of course just pushing ideas out here as I don't know how your whole workplace goes about things. I just feel strongly that your mental health takes priority over a lot of the things going on in life. It feels as though you're stuck between wanting to break free but can't let go. I'm not trying to impose anything on you, just giving perspective. 😀
I much prefer to work Christmas and New Year periods, and take time off during other parts of the year. That way, I can work in peace and quiet, and make progress without being constantly pulled and pushed from task to task.
Focus. execute. Complete. Move on.
Plus, its nice to be seen to have freedom when others may not. However, I always get confused when I take a Tuesday or Wednesday off of walk, and arrive somewhere, or am going from place to place, and often think "Don't you people have jobs?"
Christmas and New Years for me are different as I try to go home to my folks so it'll be different for everyone. I do like the downtime during this period though as it's also quiet at work so I have minimum need to work if needed. Depends on the type of work and nature of business, I guess.
This is so true! Where I come from though, a lot of work happens round the clock to cover for different shifts so it's more of a norm. But you're right, strategic breaks where it's a lot more quiet is key and outside of peak hours for people so you can be at peace and not have to fight off nasty commute/travel as well as crowded places.