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Mom are we pyromaniacs?
Yes we arson.

Credit: reddit
@arc-echo, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of pirulito.zoado

(2/10)

PLAY & EARN $DOOM

Well
The better Question is:

What would McGyver do ?

Hence my solution:

I build a time machine out of the wedding dress and the toothpaste.
Driven by the child's youthful energy, I let myself be transported back to the cruise. I then enjoy it a second time.
With the background knowledge, I take a bottle of rum and a pistol with only one shot for the second shipwreck.
Then I can escape from the island like Jack Sparrow, sorry CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, and recapture my ship!