I loved that video at the ... that was awesome! I know how you feel although I am trying to stay positive.
Are you sure one big knife is enough?? You have two hands, maybe two knives would be better.
Good to see you @penderis I've been wondering when I would be able to read your thoughts again. Of course, you did not disappoint.
My second knife I will fashion from my enemies femur. Positive Nihilism seems to be the best option, goodluck.