How long have I been like this? It's been so long that I'. already starting to forget who I was before. I don't even know how to bring everything back to normal. When my life changed, the people around me changed too.
Before, everyone would encourage me to go on and pursue my dreams. And I can't understand how everything turned the opposite. They became the ones who would discourage me. And it pains my heart more than they know.
I can't even say if they do know my suffering. It almost doesn't seem to be this way. Every day, I'm always thinking about how to approach them. I'm always careful with my actions to not hear unpleasant opinions about me.
I used to think that violence hurts more than words can do. And now, how they treat me today has proven it wrong. I didn't know that it could hurt so much. I can't even defend myself. I don't want to because I don't want to look disrespectful to them.
Although everything changed, I can't erase the fact that they loved and raised me. Everyone guided me when I didn't know how to stand on my feet. They're always there when I didn't know what to do. And that is why no matter how much pain I feel, I can't hate them.
Somewhere in my mind, I am blaming myself. Am I not the reason why everything changed around me? And that thought made me weak even more. I lost the confidence and the courage I have to believe in myself.
I had so much confidence at the very start of my journey. And I thought I'll be fine all the way through. I had so much faith in my dreams because I believed in their potentials. I never doubted myself, not until everything changed.
I feel so helpless because of what happened to me. I've learned how to isolate myself to avoid disagreements. I kept everything to myself. Do you think it's all my fault too?
Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone... not even to ourselves ― Scott Lynch
If the people around you discourage you, will you hate them? How would you approach them? What would you do if you lost confidence in yourself?
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I feel you there. In fact I have asked the same question over and over again for last 10 years. It beats me completely why. I hope you have got some answers because the answers I found out was self blaming. After a while it became suffocating. But there is light always. The tunnel has and end.
Thanks for sharing.
All things happen for a reason. - that is a fact. And although we can't ascertain what tomorrow will be, what we do and what we decide to become today will change how we perceive life and the more days to come.
I'm glad that you and A Daily Dose" crossed paths. It was nice to hear a part of your story. And I'd like to invite you to join the community. You can meet more people who might interest you, battles and stories which you wish you knew. And who knows, you might be someone who inspire others as well.
Literally. That is where heaven is. I forgive everyone and everything, who ever said and/or done any bad things to me. I also said and done bad things, and I hope that everyone and everything forgives me too.
💚
We are our biggest enemy, when the mind is troubled it will bring down the body as well!
I myself struggle everyday with mental health and what seems to help me is mindfulness and peace of mind, I try to get rid of the negative emotions and replace them with positive ones, it's not easy!
Definitely not easy but once you're aware that you're the enemy the solution seems much closer than ever.
Another thing that seems to work and distract me from the negativity it's being busy, I need to keep myself busy doing something so I don't give time to my mind to start the negative talks, as soon as I'm idle my mind starts drifting to negativity lands and if I'm not quick enough to distract myself I can easily get lost and lose loads of precious time inside my self-imposed struggle...
Powerful thing the brain...
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STOPThank you! 💚
You're welcome @adailydose 😊🌹👍 Thanks for your participation on this platform!