I was once a child who never cared about what my life would be if I would fail or not. I was careless and expressive. And with my heart filled with love, I was genuinely happy because everyone supports me. But I don't know why all of that has to change when you grow up.
I guess, at a young age, you're not capable of thinking beyond what the eyes can see. Our parents raised us to be happy because of how adorable we are. No one taught us how to live a lonely life. I mean, does someone would even do that?
Now that I'm looking back on my childhood, growing up almost seemed like yesterday. I can proudly say that it was the happiest time of my life. I don't know much about the world, and I don't have to know everything beyond what I can't see. That was what I taught myself before.
So as everything changed, my perspective of the world also changed. I had no choice but to figure out my way to survive. I learned a lot from continuing life. The daily struggles of a lonely child can teach you a lot about a different reality. Although, I don't want you to become one.
It was lonelier than lonely. But because I learned to ignore everything that could distract me, I knew how to bear with it. You have to train your mind if you don't want to lose and get beaten with sadness. Stepping out would not be as easy as waking up to a new morning.
Although I liked some of that times, living without a burden in your heart is much more comfortable. It's like breathing fresh air in the high mountains. I think it's refreshing to know that gratitude fills your heart and nothing more. I haven't honestly felt that in years.
Now when things go wrong, will I be able to face it with a stronger me? I've been through a lot, but it doesn't change the fact that I was once that afraid child. That goes to say I haven't forgotten that feeling. It will remain a part of me.
Still, I want to live and go on. Tomorrow is uncertain, and I can't always think like this. I don't want to regret anything in life. So, no matter what happens along the way, I'll try to be brave and true to myself. That's what I've been doing until now.
"When things go wrong, you'll find they usually go on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better." - C.S. Lewis
Do you believe that as a child, we can't see beyond what the eyes can see? Have you found yourself stuck and confused in a displeasing situation for once in your life? Do you have a message for someone who is living like that?
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Yes. There is a solution for everything.
I grew up with multiple disabilities and with constantly getting bullied (both verbally and physically) both by my step father and by my schoolmates and by my classmates both in the elementary school and in the middle school (I finished the middle school as a private student with a successful maturity exam).
Nowadays I live on a low (approximately $250 USD per month) pension-like income, and I also work in a 4 hours part time job, but my income still does not reach the minimum wage (approximately $550 USD per month). I often have to choose between paying rent/bills and buying food.
But I do not give up. I know that there are many people, who are in worse situations, and they also do not give up.
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The feels, although I'd like to say that we've had almost the same experience, I know that you had way harder than what I experienced. I just can imagine what you wanted to say, and it made me feel like it's incorrect to compare myself to you. But yeah, I've had also those kinds of experience. Sometimes, it pisses me when seems to have forgotten what they have done to me and pretend like nothing happened. I hate that but I can't say that.
Absolutely; my early childhood was amazing, during my teenage years my life fell apart. More on that some other day.
I definitely agree with you that, to get through it, you need to reframe your outlook and mindset - that's what I did, and had to keep doing for years to keep myself going. However, it's a double-edged sword: sometimes we get so caught up in the new mindset, so determined, that we end up "dislodging" ourselves from the real world and people, and getting back to it/them years later is near-impossible. What is needed then is a type of unschooling and re-wiring of the brain, but not all people get the opportunity and support to do it successfully, and they end up living out their lives as ghosts stuck in limbo, no real connections, no real direction.
I hope that through sharing on platforms such as this we can help with others' journeys back to connection and healing xxx
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