I've killed a lot of vermin over the years and no part of me feels bad about that. Not now, not ever.
Almost all my other kills are meat kills. I venerate the animal I've killed by preparing and eating it.
That said, about 30 years ago I got tired of killing stuff, and quit hunting. I soldiered on with fishing for a few years by being all catch and release. Then I had a physical problem that took fishing out of the game.
I still identify as a hunter and fisherman.
Once a hunter, always a hunter; it's a mentality I guess.
I'm not much for fishing, I can do it, but I'm not great at it and don't really enjoy it much. I think it's too passive for me and I prefer stalking and stuff like that.
You probably need to try fly fishing a high mountain stream. Stalking and sneaking are both very much involved.
I had to quit fly fishing, physically. I could sit on a boat or a beach chair and fish, but I'm like you. Not for me...