You just need to stop cutting yourself because non of that is gonna help is such situation less they will cause you more harm than good.. i sincerely pray that the pains of your mother goes for ever, the sun is still gonna shine again.. You can only run your family affair when your mind is in a good state, i wish you well in all and pray for God's intervention..
This is exactly what makes rational sense, and yet I find myself thinking that I deserve the pain. It's crazy, isn't it? Hopefully I'll get back to rationality soon. This is unsustainable.