Some Guidelines for Approaching Posters who are Severely Depressed / Express Suicidal Ideation

in FreeCompliments2 years ago (edited)

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As the community grows, it's possible that we'll encounter some anonymous users who are depressed and possibly suicidal. It is our belief that we should not exclude such posters from contributing here, as this may be their most comfortable outlet. As such, we're developing ways for us, as a community, to be of the most help to such individuals, while minimizing any damaging repercussions.

It happened quite a few times in the original iteration of the community, and it's important to be equipped to handle such a situation in case it arises. As such, I'm adapting the guidelines I wrote several years to Hive's community (you'll find nearly identical phrasing in an old post on a different platform).

Here are some guidelines to consider when you come across someone suicidal online:

  • The key is to read what's being said as if a close friend or family member was telling you what's being said. Remember that you're mainly there for understanding and support. It is good to acknowledge this fact in whatever you say.

  • Acknowledge that the person is going through a difficult time. If they've been through a similar experience before, it's excellent to acknowledge that they've already had the strength to get through their ordeal before. If they haven't, acknowledge that prior life experiences can help, that they're not alone, that have a support network, etc.

  • Also acknowledge that your experiences are not identical to theirs. No two people have identical experiences, but they can still provide some sort of emotional support.

  • It also helps to look into a user's prior post/comment history to get a better idea of where they're coming from. If you find a golden nugget (such as a comment indicating a moment of personal power), this can definitely help boost someone.

  • Don't necessarily give advice. You must know your own limits. If someone's asking for professional advice, and you're not licensed, don't give it out. If you can't give advice, that's completely ok. Remember that people may come here primarily for emotional support.

  • Although these posts may occur under the guise of selfie/photographs, please do not make the photograph the center of your comment. Although it is a diversion, commenting purely on superficial features to a person who is considering suicide is simply bad timing. It is better to not say anything.

  • If you promise to talk to someone, commit to it. If you're unable to continue at the time, be honest and say that you'll continue later - and stick to the promise. It is essential to establish and maintain trust. Do not make promises that you can't keep.

There are some other excellent suggestions given on this page. Remember that we are not a primary resource to assist those folks with suicidal ideations - rather, we are a channel for communication and giving better resources to help them out.

Here are some handy resources to suggest:

  • http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ - this website offers a very poignant perspective for those who are absolutely on the verge of suicide. It is an excellent first resource to suggest.

  • National Suicide Hotline - 988

Example:

Finally, I'll provide you a brief example of an effective comment that I used several years ago, which can be used as a template (resources may be adjusted to include the aforementioned hotline). Notice how it follows the general guidelines listed above and offers external resources which may be more helpful than we alone can be.

Here's a template you can use (please adjust to the individual's particular situation as much as feasible):

Hey listen, if you're seriously considering suicide, please either call or text 988 (the National Suicide Helpline), or reach out to an anonymous online therapist to whom you can talk right now. Those folks are more qualified to give you some good wholesome advice on how to cope with your situation. The best compliment you can give yourself is to help yourself, because you deserve to be happy.
If you can't use or are uncomfortable with using those services, I'll talk to you for a little while, but you have to promise me that first thing tomorrow morning, you'll reach out to a doctor or qualified therapist so that they can help you in the best way possible.
I really hope that things pick up for you. It's definitely not easy, but once you bring yourself out of this tough situation, you'll be able to speak to and help others from a very unique and experienced point of view. You will provide a priceless value to someone's world. Please keep holding on.

Feel free to add your thought(s) and suggestion(s), and I'll update this post as appropriate.


Coming next, some guidelines for regular compliments!

Thank you all for reading this and for your participation in this community, whether you're giving or asking for compliments. Without you, this community would be an empty space. You're all bringing life to something wonderful.

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Hi, it's me, Stayten (obviously, lol...)

I truly appreciate what you're tryna do here, mate. No cap.

...!discovery 30...
BIG FAT THANK YOU!

...How about a... ...MentalSupport... ...Community....png

Thank you so much Stayten! I hope this will help people. 😊

I haven't actually found a mental support community here (I tried searching). Do you know of one?

Suicide is everywhere so it’s great you are putting it in front of us to help out but why not add the compliment template for these cases in the blog instead or redirecting people to Reddit?

Actually that's a pretty great idea! I'll adjust it. Of course, with the caveat that all cases are individual. 😊

I'll still leave in the link to show that the example was effectively used.

Superb I decided to feature you again but now on teh #aHeyhaveyaREAD blog your second blog is up and you are doing great! I see the fun you have and the way you engage. My tip to add the template was a suggestion and I see you understood is was no negative attempt to the blog just an additional thought.
I hope I never have to use the commmet but it's there in notes for when I need it thank you

Exactly, and I think it was a great idea. I also dropped in a new suggestion to the list as well.

Always open to suggestions! 😊

And thank you kindly for your feature!

Oh I have to check that out , and ofcourse the feature might help to get new eyes on the account and project
Good luck

Important post. We all need education about scope of what we can offer and what we don't.

I worked a Suicide Hotline in an academic setting. Each call I took was really, when we took the time to just chat, was more often about a need for freedom of some kind more than anything else.

However, before answering I prepared, as any caller could have been in the worse possible state. Care is needed for both the caller and the one offering a listening ear.

Keep up the good work, @freecompliments
Much love!💖

Very wise words. It's clear that you've got plenty of experience in this, and your input and wisdom will be invaluable here. Thank you so much for joining. ❤️

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Wow, thank you so much for sharing this externally, @deraaa! 😊

It is a pleasure!❤️😉

This is insanely cool!!

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Once again Great thing you do here my friend and I am sure this will help alot of people ❤️
Thank you for sharing this and I learned some new things here to that is good to know as I often trying to help others and often are a ear and shoulder. Just sometimes hard to find the right words when someone is hurt or in a bad place.

Why this is important. ❤️❤️

Thank you so much! 😊

If it can help even more additional person for a brief moment, it's worth it. I'm fortunate enough to have helped a few people from the edge before (according to them). It certainly is difficult to find the right words, but frankly, the most important thing is listening.

Thank you for sharing this wisdom!

Thank you kindly for reading. I hope it doesn't need to come in handy, but if it does, it's there for everyone to see. 😊

this is really good stuff. thank you. @appreciator I think this deserves alot of appreciation, take a look.

It's mind blowing how we just find everything in one place!!! I'm in full support y'all. This is a beautiful initiative and I'm proud to be a Hiver because of things like this.

Sooner or later we find ourselves in this situation (hopefully as people being asked to give advice or support). With the advice here, we'll be better prepared for when it happens, or when it happens again.

It's too late for me to upvote this post, so please accept this slice of !PIZZA, bit of !LUV, and because we all need them !LOLZ .

PIZZA!

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This is really amazing Thanks 🙏 for sharing 😊

I !luv this!

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Hi @freecompliments !

It's always good to hear your voice in this space 🥰

I'm looking for a sheet that* *has suicide hotline contact data for several countries.

Tag me if you or our readers might have that. I want to have that info at the ready.

Keep going! Good work!!

That's a great tool to have! I think I had an old link with multiple hotlines - might have to dig around a little bit for this.

I've heard from people's personal experiences that these hotlines essentially just try to hold them off from taking any drastic actions but don't really listen to them, and they're also reluctant to use them because they might end up hospitalized in a psychiatric facility. While technically warranted, these are things that I'd keep in mind when offering the hotlines. Hopefully we'll be able to offer a bit of a supporting hand "outside of the system," so to speak, and I think our decentralization can help with this.

While I was reading this, I felt like some professional wrote it or someone who had direct experience in suicidal case with himself/herself or with someone close, a friend, a partner, a family member... (Maybe I'm wrong.)

Nevertheless, it is a great initiative & I sincerely approve & support it even thou I live in Croatia & we do not have so many suicides. Seems to me that this initiative is focus on the USA governed territories or the English spoken territories...?

But in my daily & practical research for more than a decade, the system in Croatia, since the war we had is actually becoming the copy of the USA free capitalism concept which is destroying further more the Mother Nature, the family values, people becoming selfish & greedy, health security falling apart, ignorance spreading, drugs taking over, more guns & weapons produced & imported & exported, food becoming toxic & expensive, police started acting same like in the USA turning Croatia in the real police state... most probably in few years we might have much higher suicide rate than ever, unfortunately.

But the change comes from within every individual & light can shine in the darkness! Hope is never dying!

Occasionally, I will stop by in the community to check what is going on & if I could contribute anyhow, I will try to do so. I also believe that I will learn something useful from the community too.

All the best to all of you great people all over the planet! Be in love & free of anything! Help each other! Respect each other! Life is & can be beautiful even in the worst possible situations! Never go to war for no one! Always make peace without guns & bloodshed!

felt like some professional wrote it or someone who had direct experience in suicidal case with himself/herself or with someone close, a friend, a partner, a family member... (Maybe I'm wrong.)

Right on both counts!

Seems to me that this initiative is focus on the USA governed territories or the English spoken territories...?

This is definitely intended to be an international initiative. We have no borders here - although it's primarily English-speaking people participating thus far. It would be amazing to spread the initiative to include all dialects and countries.

But in my daily & practical research for more than a decade, the system in Croatia

Free capitalism does have its downsides, but when implemented properly, it shouldn't result in as much destruction as you're describing, and provides a great deal of opportunity for personal growth. Our free (biased) media exercises its freedom of speech and freedom of reach to broadcast biased "information" which makes us look far worse than we are. Things are certainly difficult here, we're quite divided, and things are worse than they were a couple of decades ago, but the quality of life and average income and GDP per capita in the US is still far higher than nearly any other country on Earth. People who don't have experience living outside of the US don't know how difficult life can be elsewhere, and thus complain as if they're living in some 3rd world country - typically, they're just spoiled and don't make the most of the opportunities offered here. And we're the opposite of a police state - crime right now is more rampant than ever and there's a great deal of lenience on crimes, both minor and serious. It's unfortunate that our biased media misleads people like this.

change comes from within every individual & light can shine in the darkness!

Absolutely, we all have the opportunity to create and induce happiness and positivity!

I will stop by in the community to check what is going on & if I could contribute anyhow, I will try to do so. I also believe that I will learn something useful from the community too.

Feel free to do so! We're going to continue growing our initiative as much as we can. I hope our mental health ambassador positions will eventually become standing jobs with good pay. And in the meantime, I hope to learn plenty as well, as there is always room to learn more.

All the best to all of you great people all over the planet!

100%! We can always acknowledge our differences, as they will always exist, and talk them out peacefully.

Absolutely looking forward to seeing you around here. 😊

This is one of the nicest answers that I ever got here on Hive. Thanks!

Hi, I disappeared from hive for a few months and lately I have been trying to rejoin, excuse my ignorance but I would like to know a little more in depth about being an ambassador for @freecompliments.

Sorry I replied so late, Juana! No problem, I'm glad to have you back and I did see your return posts. It's great that you're here again!

We've been expanding what we're doing with the mental health initiative, and here's a recent description of what we're up to.

I think a great first step would be to reply to those daily tags (you should be receiving the notification) and to watch out if you see anyone on Hive who appears to be very sad or depressed, and let us know about it.

I'm here bro

Very good

Good and helpful post.
#freecompliments