Nos athlète ont terminer leurs échauffement , place au vrais match .
LE MATCH COMMENCE
Le soleil semblait hésiter à se lever, comme s’il savait que la lumière de ce jour serait éclipsée par une confrontation titanesque. Le public – composé d’outils de jardin, d’un vieux transat, et d’un arrosoir qui jouait le rôle de présentateur – retenait son souffle. Sur le court de fortune, la tension était palpable. Une balle usée roulait doucement jusqu’au filet, comme pour demander : êtes-vous vraiment prêts pour ça ?
L’arbitre, une raquette abandonnée perchée sur une caisse, éleva la voix.
– Le match commence ! À ma gauche, la Table Titanesque, reine incontestée des repas familiaux et des plans de travail. À ma droite, la Chaise Agile, pliante et résolue, incarnation de la résilience et du confort portable !
La table tapa ses pieds métalliques au sol, faisant trembler la cordelette qui servait de filet.
– Prépare-toi, chaise. Je vais te réduire en allumettes !
– Allumettes ? ricana la chaise. On en reparlera quand tu auras réussi à te déplacer sans te cogner contre une taupe.
LA PREMIÈRE BALLE : UN DÉBUT CATACLYSMIQUE
La table servit en première. Elle pivota sur ses pieds avec une puissance impressionnante, envoyant la balle dans les airs à une vitesse surnaturelle. Le coup était si fort qu’il généra un petit tremblement de terre dans le jardin, renversant un pot de fleurs.
– STRIKE DE LA TABLE ! cria l’arrosoir, visiblement peu au courant des règles du tennis.
Mais la chaise, fidèle à sa réputation, réagit avec une agilité déconcertante. Elle bondit dans les airs, effectuant un triple salto arrière digne des plus grands gymnastes, et renvoya la balle avec un effet si tordu qu’elle sembla changer de direction trois fois en plein vol.
– INCROYABLE ! hurla le transat, qui s’était improvisé commentateur secondaire. La chaise vient de réaliser le Coup du Dossier Fantôme !
La table, vexée, frappa la balle d’un revers si puissant que des éclats de peinture volèrent de son plateau. La balle fila droit vers la chaise comme une comète. La chaise esquiva de justesse, laissant la balle s’écraser au sol avec une telle force qu’elle creusa un petit cratère.
– Tu vises mal, grinça la chaise. Tu joues au tennis ou tu prépares des travaux publics ?
LES ATTAQUES SPÉCIALES
Alors que le match progressait, les attaques prirent une tournure de plus en plus spectaculaire. La table activa sa première technique spéciale : le Smash des Quatre Coins. Chacun de ses coins projeta une balle à des angles différents, transformant le terrain en un champ de tir.
La chaise pliante, loin d’être impressionnée, éclata de rire.
– Sérieusement ? Tu crois m’avoir avec ça ? Regarde et apprends !
Elle déploya alors sa propre attaque : la Frappe du Pied Enchaîné. Pivotant sur un seul pied, elle renvoya les quatre balles simultanément, chacune avec un effet différent. Une balle tourbillonna comme un frisbee, une autre fila en ligne droite, et les deux dernières rebondirent sur les lignes du terrain avant de revenir directement vers la table.
– IMPOSSIBLE ! rugit la table en tentant de les intercepter.
Mais elle en manqua une, qui frappa son bord avec un "plonk" retentissant. La raquette-arbitre leva un coin :
– POINT POUR LA CHAISE !
LE TEMPS MORT INVOLONTAIRE
Entre deux échanges, un incident survint. Une bande de taupes en colère, manifestement dérangées par les vibrations, fit irruption sur le terrain. Une taupe particulièrement corpulente grimpa sur le filet improvisé et gesticula furieusement.
– Hé, on peut jouer en paix ? s’énerva la table.
– Peut-être qu’elles veulent participer, plaisanta la chaise. Je suis sûre qu’elles pourraient te battre.
Les taupes furent finalement dispersées par un râteau, qui se plaça en bordure du terrain pour assurer la sécurité.
LE RETOUR DE L’ACTION : UN DUEL COSMIQUE
Alors que le match atteignait son apogée, les coups devinrent si puissants que la balle semblait ignorer les lois de la physique. À un moment, elle s’embrasa littéralement, traçant une ligne de feu dans le ciel. La chaise, en pleine course, sauta dans les airs et renvoya la balle avec un coup si précis qu’il éteignit les flammes.
La table, de son côté, activa le Mode Berzerk du Plateau Inarrêtable. Elle tourbillonna si vite que les spectateurs durent mettre des lunettes de protection pour éviter les éclats de bois.
– C’est plus un match, c’est un cataclysme ! hurla l’arrosoir, les gouttelettes tremblant sur son bec.
UN ÉCHANGE DÉCISIF
Dans un ultime échange, les deux adversaires mirent tout leur pouvoir en jeu. La table chargea un coup monumental, concentrant toute son énergie dans un seul coin de son plateau. La chaise, quant à elle, activa sa technique secrète : le Repli Dimensionnel. Elle se plia si vite qu’elle sembla disparaître, réapparaissant juste à temps pour frapper la balle avec un impact si fort qu’un éclair illumina le ciel.
La balle fendit l’air, passa le filet… et s’écrasa au sol du côté de la table.
Le silence tomba. Même le vent sembla retenir son souffle. Puis, la raquette-arbitre leva son manche.
– POINT FINAL POUR LA CHAISE ! MATCH GAGNÉ !
Le jardin explosa en acclamations. Le râteau pleura de joie, le transat effectua une roulade maladroite, et l’arrosoir vida tout son contenu en guise de célébration.
La chaise, haletante mais victorieuse, se tourna vers la table et déclara avec un sourire narquois :
– Je t’avais dit que la taille ne fait pas tout.
La table, malgré sa défaite, esquissa un sourire.
– Bien joué, petite. Mais un jour, je reviendrai… et ce jour-là, tu feras moins la maligne.
Et ainsi, le match légendaire prit fin, mais la rivalité entre la table et la chaise promettait de devenir une saga sans fin.
Our athletes have finished their warm-ups; now it's time for the real match.
THE MATCH BEGINS
The sun seemed hesitant to rise, as if aware that the light of this day would be overshadowed by a titanic confrontation. The audience—composed of garden tools, an old deck chair, and a watering can moonlighting as the announcer—held their breath. On the makeshift court, the tension was palpable. A worn-out ball slowly rolled to the net, as if asking: Are you really ready for this?
The referee, an abandoned racket perched atop a crate, raised its voice.
– The match begins! To my left, the Titanic Table, undisputed queen of family meals and workspaces. To my right, the Agile Chair, foldable and resolute, the embodiment of resilience and portable comfort!
The table stomped its metal legs on the ground, shaking the string that served as the net.
– Get ready, chair. I’m going to turn you into matchsticks!
– Matchsticks? scoffed the chair. We’ll see who’s laughing when you manage to move without bumping into a mole.
THE FIRST BALL: A CATACLYSMIC START
The table served first. It spun on its legs with impressive power, launching the ball into the air at supernatural speed. The strike was so powerful it caused a tiny earthquake in the garden, toppling a flower pot.
– TABLE STRIKE! shouted the watering can, clearly unfamiliar with the rules of tennis.
But the chair, true to its reputation, reacted with disconcerting agility. It leaped into the air, performing a triple backflip worthy of the greatest gymnasts, and returned the ball with such a twisted spin that it seemed to change direction three times mid-flight.
– UNBELIEVABLE! screamed the deck chair, self-appointed secondary commentator. The chair just pulled off the Phantom Backrest Shot!
The table, vexed, hit the ball with a backhand so powerful that flecks of paint flew off its surface. The ball rocketed toward the chair like a comet. The chair narrowly dodged, letting the ball smash into the ground with such force that it left a small crater.
– Bad aim, the chair taunted. Are you playing tennis or starting a construction project?
SPECIAL ATTACKS
As the match progressed, the moves grew increasingly spectacular. The table activated its first special technique: the Four-Corner Smash. Each of its corners fired a ball at different angles, turning the court into a shooting gallery.
The folding chair, unimpressed, burst out laughing.
– Seriously? You think that’ll work on me? Watch and learn!
It then unleashed its own attack: the Chained Leg Strike. Pivoting on a single leg, it returned all four balls simultaneously, each with a different spin. One ball spiraled like a frisbee, another shot straight as an arrow, while the other two bounced off the court lines and boomeranged back toward the table.
– IMPOSSIBLE! roared the table as it tried to intercept them.
But it missed one, which struck its edge with a resounding "plonk." The racket-referee raised a corner.
– POINT FOR THE CHAIR!
AN UNEXPECTED TIMEOUT
Between exchanges, an incident occurred. A band of angry moles, evidently disturbed by the vibrations, stormed onto the court. One particularly hefty mole climbed onto the makeshift net and gestured furiously.
– Hey, can we play in peace? snapped the table.
– Maybe they want to join in, joked the chair. I bet they could beat you.
The moles were eventually chased off by a rake, which stationed itself at the court’s edge to maintain order.
THE RETURN TO ACTION: A COSMIC DUEL
As the match reached its peak, the shots became so powerful that the ball seemed to defy the laws of physics. At one point, it literally caught fire, tracing a fiery line across the sky. The chair, mid-sprint, leaped into the air and returned the ball with such precision that it extinguished the flames.
The table, in turn, activated its Unstoppable Tabletop Berserk Mode. It spun so fast that spectators had to don protective goggles to avoid flying splinters.
– This isn’t a match; it’s a cataclysm! cried the watering can, trembling as droplets spilled from its spout.
A DECISIVE EXCHANGE
In a final rally, both opponents put everything on the line. The table charged a monumental shot, channeling all its energy into a single corner of its tabletop. The chair, meanwhile, activated its secret technique: the Dimensional Fold. It folded so quickly it seemed to vanish, reappearing just in time to strike the ball with such force that a bolt of lightning lit up the sky.
The ball sliced through the air, cleared the net... and slammed into the ground on the table’s side.
Silence fell. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath. Then, the racket-referee raised its handle.
– FINAL POINT FOR THE CHAIR! MATCH WON!
The garden erupted in cheers. The rake wept with joy, the deck chair attempted an awkward somersault, and the watering can emptied itself in celebration.
The chair, panting but victorious, turned to the table and smirked.
– Told you size doesn’t matter.
The table, despite its defeat, managed a smile.
– Well played, little one. But one day, I’ll be back... and you won’t be so smug.
And so, the legendary match ended, but the rivalry between the table and the chair promised to become an endless saga.
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