This was a pretty cool original song idea
I like the lyrics that you wrote down, they are very profound, thoughtful and poetic, the melody is pretty catchy, and your smooth singing fits this style, although starting with the same melody each phrase does get quite repetitive.
Try switching up the melody and rhythm in the middle somewhere for at least 3-4 phrases before going back into the standard melody you have built in.
This song is still a work in progress and I am sure you can build on it more layers to give it creative levels. Appreciate you sharing this one with us
Thank you, I'll keep that in mind