Remember when I said I found some of the old games I used to play with some time ago?
Turns out that once I started to play them again I couldn't stop.
Now I find myself playing Custom Robo again and trying to scrounge up enough in-game money to feed my crippling and constantly growing Robo Addiction.
You see, the whole premise of Custom Robo is that you're a young kid that's really into the hobby of "Custom Robo", which consists of people using some mind mumbojumbo to control small robots (called "Custom Robos") and using said robots to beat the absolute crap out of each other fight one another.
Mom calls this guy "Mazinger Z"
It's a really big thing in this fictional world, so big in fact, that most people will only talk about Custom Robo, school teaches you about Custom Robo, the police works with Custom Robos, God is a Custom Robo!. Okay, maybe not that...
It's your basic Japanese children's game setting where everyone absolutely loves whatever it is that the game focuses on. Think Pokemon but replace them with small robots that shoot each other and sometimes people.
Why am I playing this? Because I love robots and despite what you may think, this game is actually really good when it comes to the whole "customize your mecha" to the point that I want to keep playing only to get enough money to get a cool robot and make him do cool poses.
That is what this post is about one man's journey to achieve maximum robot coolness, even if he has to ruin his in-game wallet for it.
My name is Custom Robo-Man...
My mission is to get filthy rich by playing with small robots...
And then use all of my funds to acquire more robots...
And then use those robots to be even more richer...
So that I spend all of my new money on more robots...
If you're wondering about the story of this game then I shall sum it up for you right now: It's about becoming the very best at Custom Robo, like no one ever was.
...
...That's pretty much it.
No, seriously. Everything in this game revolves around the robots to an almost comical degree. The character whose family was murdered? It was Custom Robo terrorists who killed 'em, the evil guy who wants to create the ultimate weapon? He builds an evil Custom Robo.
Me? I just want to collect a bunch of them and make them stand in silly poses, that's my goal and I'm sticking to it.
These are Custom Robo-Man's stats, notice how much money he has and how dirty his robot looks, a result of me forgetting to clean it before taking a picture.
Which brings me to my current predicament, Dioramas aren't particularly expensive (it's 5 Custom Robo bucks each) but every one you get is randomly selected from a list, so they're essentially a very basic version of lootboxes.
The good part is that there isn't a lot of Dioramas, the bad part is that the coolio ones are rare, the ugly part is that you need to add the price of every diorama I spend money on AND the price for every piece of equipment I buy for my little robot, not to mention the other robots I buy.
...This sounds more and more like robot addiction the more I speak about it.
The devil's lettuce This thing here is where I lost most of my cash... It was worth it though.
I may have run out of money here but that will not stop my never ending thirst for small robots!
Whenever my thirst for robots made me short on cash I simply went towards the closest NPC looking person and challenged them to a Pokemon battle Custom Robo fight.
These battles are where the whole "Custom" thing shines, as your success in each fight depends heavily on the parts you put on your robo and seeing that there are several different robos you can use and how all of them "play" differently from one another it's important to know what works and what doesn't.
Stranger, I challenge you to a small robot fight!
...But since I'm using "Baby's First Robo" that doesn't really matter, that thing's good with anything.
Oh god the pixels are everywhere.
Because of how little money beating random people gives me I find myself beating the same guy again and again, it almost makes me feel like I'm bullying him or something.
Eventually though, I find myself falling back to the game's story as that gives me plenty of different opponents and enough money to buy stuff. Not to mention that this lets me unlock more shops where I can spend my robo-bucks.
Several things happen when I decide to get back to the story, "Baby's First Robo" is replaced with "Baby's Second Robo" for starters.
Then the game decides to give me a school test on Custom Robo for some reason...
I dunno man, I just press random buttons and hope it works!
There's also a school tournament or something, which does provide with a lot of opportunities to get money. Also, doesn't it look weird that, once you win against someone in a tournament, you get money from that? I mean, it's "normal" if it's someone on the street but in an "official" match?
I don't know what the hell is happening here but I'm winning!
Before that whole tournament/challenge fiasco though I end up fighting some criminals who, for whatever reason, decide to engage in small robot combat with some children instead of... y'know stabbing them right then and there.
I mean if you were actually willing to harm someone, even if it is while using these small robots, I would imagine you would have a backup plan or a more efficient way of getting things done.
To be fair this "evil" guy almost kicked my ass here but that isn't the point.
Think of it like this, if you were perfectly okay with the idea of harming others to get what you want would you choose to:
A- Have a "fair" fight with some children.
or
B- Stab one of them and continue your business.
See what I mean?
Also, why would they give me money when they lose?
...Why am I questioning the logic of a children's robot fighting game?
Anyway, all of these happenings eventually give me even more money to spend on more robot stuff and that's good because the Diorama place changed their stock, which means different Dioramas.
I realized they do this after the player advances a little in the story. Moving on with the story lets other shops open as well and these ones have different robos you can buy which, to me, means back to grinding for more money
GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE TAKEN ALL OF YOUR MONEY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
The story eventually gives me a job as a police officer they gave me a license to kick ass and told me to "go get 'em" (yes this is exactly what happens) and catching them villains actually pays more than just challenging whatever person I find first on the street.
Understandable as it's basically risking my life doing this, see these little robots are actually strong and the only reason a child hasn't lost an eye to one of those fights it's because the fights are done in a holographic arena that doesn't let the robots shoot people. These people though? they fight outside the arena, so this job is basically me risking my life in small robot battles and hoping I don't get hit by a stray bullet.
Essentially, my crippling addiction to small death robots has me risking my life every night so that I get enough money to feed my obsession.
Why do they let a kid like the main character do this? Remember this game is like Pokemon and your character is the OP protagonist, one of a kind, miracle boy, chosen one, wielder of the most OP Custom Robo.
My activities as a not-police officer end up giving me enough money to buy some more stuff, and this time I do end up getting a different robot!
I mean I got like three but this one is the coolest I swear
Please do not mind the yellow/orange bar at the bottom of the screen.
This little guy's name is Hurricane and he's the coolest thing that ever existed. The only downside is that now I have to learn how to use him, because he obviously plays differently than "Baby's Second Robo"; Hurricane can change into a plane form or something like a transformer, Baby's Second Robo is the average guy that does anything and has nothing special to offer.
I also got some good stuff from them Diorama boxes.
Here he is, racing someone in the ocean. Why is he racing another robot? I don't know.
I think this is as far as I go today, despite my robot addiction wanting me to do more my body can only handle so much "Custom Robo" before it decides to go play something else, preferably in a setting where the in-game people don't only talk about the same thing every moment of every day.
Thanks for reading guys, remember to stay safe!
Come back next time, when I go bankrupt because my addiction demanded me to get more robot stuff.