2021 has been a difficult year, not because of financial ills or having to do with the fact that society was kind of falling apart all over, but because I've grown more distant with my friends than ever.
Some of us had life plans to head abroad for job or study reasons. Because of this, we've stopped having anything to do with region based multiplayer. Playing games with them being far away just wouldn't be the same anymore.
I've been playing Valorant, Warzone, even Final Fantasy XIV with them. Somewhere at the end of 2020 is where things have started to change. One of my friends moved out to Canada right around December last year, been already a year since then, but he has been busy with life priorities, he left me hanging. We still talk, but it hasn't been the same.
Winding Back The Clock
Back in 2015, when I finally got an upgraded PC, I would spend most of my hours playing single-player games. I haven't played a proper game in 3 years before that, because my previous system before that was very weak.
I wasn't feeling upto playing any multiplayer games, I had a bucket list of games to finish, so whatsoever time I had left, I would just spent time playing those instead. Games like Metro Last Light, Assassin's Creed 3, Witcher 3, Batman: Arkham Knight, and so on. Keeping myself busy, but one of my closest friends from secondary school dragged me. Just to play Counter Strike: Global Offensive with him.
There were invite codes around some time during its release that were given out, I was given one, but I rarely used it since I was busy with other things per se. Till my friend dragged me into matches once in a while. Changed my internet connection just to get the appropriate experience without facing lag or disconnections. From that point on, we hit it off, got inside Teamspeak servers with his friends and shared comradery like none other I had before. I was a pretty private person in school. So this experience was pretty refreshing.
I've played Counter Strike till my interest was lost in 2 years of playing. Me and the friends I've made moved on to greener pastures(or so we thought), like the new Battle Royale trend. We played PUBG and Fortnite. We started our own Discord server, even.
Moved to Apex Legends, and Warzone later on, while I do play other games often with different people. Playing with these guys were my ultimate pick-me-up whenever I feel down or need to let out some steam for the day. One of them was an MMO fan, so we played Guild Wars 2 before moving to Final Fantasy XIV. Sadly, these were the last few moments I've spent my time with them like this.
Dealing With Isolation
2019 was where we kind of started to drift away. I was dealing with chronic IBS with symptoms like fibromyalgia from joint pain and the back. Headaches and disorientation. I wasn't exactly in a good, healthy state to have objectives in life outside my gaming habits.
This hit me psychologically, as being in the same place all the time had dwindling effects on my mental state. I was depressed, to say the least. Adding up to that was also the fact that my friends were also drifting apart because they were busy with studies and with their jobs.
2020 didn't help, with the pandemic hitting up, things got pretty sour between some of us. I had a fit with one of my friends in the group and since then we've been mum about things. My secondary school friend is busy with post graduate studies and is trying his best to go abroad. He had to do it for his parents, so putting time for our session wasn't in question.
Time went by, I felt pretty alone. Was in a dark place, at one point, all the things I've distracted myself from were coming back harder, and I couldn't find the strength to face them without the people I enjoyed so much time with. I don't want to get into details about how bad things were, let's just say it was agonizing to exist in-between in this part of the timeline.
What Are Friends For?
I didn't realize how much I've missed having them around till this year, maybe even now. Sure, I've made new friends, but I miss my old friends a lot. A grave sense of ennui has taken over me thinking about them. Nothing felt the same after we moved on from each other.
I hope that I get to patch things up, hopefully they find the time to visit back home. We can pull off an all-nighter playing Halo Infinite or come back to Apex Legends. Do a get-together that we've been planning for a while even.
Sorry if this got emotional guys, I hope you have a good christmas ahead of you. Am a muslim, so I don't do much to celebrate this tradition. But kind of sucks living the holidays without people you know to be around.
I feel you man, my gaming time with my friends is always the part I love most about my day however when most of them went abroad it wasn't the same anymore, but when we do play together we cherish and appreciate it a lot! And feel free to join me in my games anytime I currently play league of legends and paladins as multiplayer online games. And been enjoying gods unchained as single player online game a lot.
Sure, if you're in Asia region, I'd happily join you. I kind of gave up on LoL, so maybe Paladins would work.
I do not recall paladins having an Asia region but gimme your discord we'll sort things out there :p
I know this feeling. I was in a big drought where I was only playing by myself but over the last year me and a group of friends has been gaming together quite consistently. Both in D&D but also in games like Valheim and most importantly FFXIV. I hope you can find back to these days my dude.
You know it's funny since you've mentioned DnD, there was this one time I've played with a group while coming over to their house. But after one or two of us had to leave the country, we decided to use Roll20 to play DnD ourselves. My character was a Tiefling mage and man I had a backstory for the guy.
Sadly, we couldn't finish it and left it hanging for over 3 years now.
Man, I get you, I hope that you wish come true, keep moving forward, eventually you are going to reconnect like in the good old days 😎
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