Ha I have moments where I retreat into my woman cave, out on my noise cancelling headphones, and do a yoga nidra to settle the nervous system. We are treating it like a job, writing constant to do lists and getting through it.
Dad wants us to go. He's hopeful he will have another year of three. I doubt it. He wants photos of Iceland and Morocco to edit, to live vicariously through us. If he has extra time due to whatever he'll drugs they give him, we will go. My bro in law will call it if it's looking closer and I can jump on a flight.
It's a very odd time. My bro in law says I have no choice but to go. Sometimes I'm paralyzed. Sometimes I just forget.
Why would you not have a choice? You always have a choice.
Exactly. But he was trying to say that life goes on, and that it'd be silly to hang around if Dad's got a year, say, as I'd probably only see Dad once a week anyway or it'd be weird for my parents 😂 My folks are very insistent that things are as normal as possible. And to get on with our lives. .
Jamie will still go and meet the car if I decide to stay because things are close to the wire.
Oh my gosh the car is already on the way? You're that close to going? I can understand their wanting things to be "normal."
Yeah, they're troopers, and don't want fuss. Someone told me once that however much you worry about your parents, it's their journey - they met, got married, had kids together, had a life - it's not actually my responsibility to micromanage them. They've got this, like they've had all the other things in their life. That was immensely liberating for me. I'll be on the same journey before too long. Of course I'll be around when he takes his last (I hope) but logically, as Dad said, we've said all our goodbyes before when we thought he was dying last time. There's nothing that needs to be said. That's also pretty cool. Not a lot of people get that.