this idealized connection

I am not a hunter.

I have never tracked and stalked prey, never set a trap outside the vinegar soap traps when the fruit flies invade my home every summer. I've never shot an arrow. Never fired a gun, save for the bb gun I used to kill that lizard when my cousin and I were kids.

I still feel remorse over that unnecessary death.

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I used to fish. Simply, from the shore of the Pacific or off a pier in a bay. I let the creatures I caught suffocate slowly on ice, then took them home, gutted and descaled and fried up their bodies. I tried not to think about their lives that I took from them. I never did kill them directly. Not with my bare hands and not with any weapon.

But I haven't fished in years.

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I once killed a mouse. Drowned the terrified screaming animal in the toilet because I couldn't peel it off the glue trap without peeling off its skin. I told my parents we couldn't use those traps anymore, that they were a torturous death and I wanted no part of it.

We let the cats do the killing after that.

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I live a privileged life. I never see the animals I eat while their hearts are still beating. Nobody's mate or parent or child dies by my hand.

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I don't even know where my vegetables come from. I don't garden, don't harvest, don't forage save for the occasional sprig of rosemary or fuyu persimmon I pluck from a neighbor's yard.

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I don't know the colors or faces of the thousands of hens that have given me eggs. I don't know the names of the people who pick my blueberries or even what language they speak.

Don't ask me how those oats came from halfway across the continent to end up in my dog's food bowl. I couldn't tell you.

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I wander the earth, exploring her beauty, idealizing my connection with her...

and I don't even know how to feed myself.

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Give it a try. Go out and shoot something with your one-eyed gun.This is my entry for the #monomad challenge, held daily in the


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I'll feed you, gluten free :D

This was so nice...
You don't have to know it all! But please find out about Pilots flakes, he cares.

LOL I bet he does. He cares if they make it to his bowl.

Bob's Red Mill Oatmeal oats come from either Saskatchewan, Manitoba, or the United States (no mention of which states but I presume the flat ones in the middle). Probably by truck.

I did chair massage a couple years ago for the factory workers for that company, actually. About as close to knowing my food as I've been since fishing.

as I've been since fishing.

was doing that as a kid (favorite summer activity), cant remember did I ever catch anything but it was fun!

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Thanks @brumest and @qurator team!

Around here, a lot of folks rely on hunting season to help feed the family through winter. People also plant gardens and forage for berries or mushrooms in the forests. The locals are less concerned about trophies or the "thrill of the hunt" than basic need to survive.

I envy them.

And I don't.