I have felt like that too... but now I just think that I am free, that I can do anything, that there is beauty because I am there and when I walk or cycle the colours appear... and then I am invisible and I am more awake from the inside.
I'm not going to deny that every day is not rosy. But it's the ego, which I have to silence.
Love to Pilot.
A hug? Or are you not in the mood?
Los abrazos virtuales son bien. O estan. Ay, aqui en la vida de laptop no hay acentos y a las 2:30 de la manyana no tengo ganas profundas de google la gramatica corrrrrecta.
Mostly I am free and alert to the nature around me and don't think about the pepper spray in my pocket. I've always carried it on walks pero desde "your body, my choice," and with el cheeto's hatred of Portland, me siento un poco paranoica y un poco... ill. I don't think enferma is the right word, nor mala. Mas como that sinking sick feeling in the stomach that aligns with fear. Dime, que es esta palabra que busco?
I don't know the single word... I think it's understandable that in the face of an escalation of violent events and hatred around you, you feel that way. You just have to take precautions, but without becoming obsessed.
Yes, definitely not into getting obsessed or doom scrolling. I'm one of those jerks that doesn't watch the news. I can't.