A string of complaints to police stations, in recent months, has led to an inquest on the necessity of indicator use in cars, as an insignificant number of motorists insist they are just another distraction on our state’s roads.
The inquest, which commenced yesterday, has been specifically tasked with finding if indicators are actually a useful part of modern vehicle technology. If found to be superfluous, we could see a dramatic reimagining of the motor vehicle as we know it, with some motorists calling for the orange plastic covered blinking bulbs to be replaced with disco lights, or in some innovative cases, ‘mini microwaves so I can heat up my coffee’.
John Stringer, one motorist, who is fed up with the incessant blinking of turn signals has led the charge against the little lights of distraction, stating in an interview, ‘Yeah, I’m sick and tired of having to move that lever up and down every time I need to make a turn. What use is it anyway? I don’t need to show which way I’m going, I know exactly where I want to be.’
When alerted to the idea that turn signals were not for his benefit, but for the benefit of other motorists around him, indifference turned quickly to annoyance, ‘What are you talking about? Why would someone else need to know what I’m thinking? They should be able to tell simply by looking at my car and having the best guess they can.’
In an attitude that is becoming increasingly popular on South Australian roads, Mr Stringer persisted, ‘not only do I find indicators hassle-some, I also am beginning to think that stop signs are more of a suggested caution than an actual necessity as well.’
And, it seems, Mr Stringer is not alone.
‘I haven’t used me indicator in seven months, mate,’ echoed another motorist, who, today, added her name to a slowly growing petition. ‘What’s the point? I don’t really care if people are giving way to me when they don’t need to. It only slows them down by a second or two, doesn’t it?’
Caroline Birch couldn’t disagree more. The pro-indicator advocate set up the Keep Indicators in our Lives Longer initiative, or K.I.L.L. for short, as a non-violent cause to make sure all motorists are safe every time they venture onto the road. ‘Of course indicators are essential,’ she stated yesterday, ‘we need to know the intention of the driver’s around us so that we can keep everyone safe and ensure they get to their destination unscathed.’
The police, who despite having to field the complaints, seem to agree with the latter, with a spokesperson stating, ‘The idea of removing indicators from vehicles is daft. We cautioned the government to not waste valuable resources on an inquest, but what would we know?’
Despite the warning, the inquest is underway, and it is likely to be years before a resolution arises, with the panel members intent on interviewing every licensed driver in the state. ‘Oh, we take this sort of thing very seriously,’ said one panel member, ‘even though the general consensus points towards keeping them, it would not be right if we didn’t exercise due diligence by investigating this thoroughly.’