You don't have a small stake! 5-6 of "you" make up for a 500k guy. And there aren't so many 500k+ guys. But there are more orcas and dolphins. I don't consider myself as having a small stake even if I have half of yours. It matters. But unfortunately, most people choose to be inactive when it comes to governance, and that's how some of those bad things you mentioned happen.
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Well, I think the big push that determines whether a proposal is passed mostly depends on the big guns. However I do agree that orcas (when voting together) makes impact. There are many orcas, but sometimes not united enough to counter the voice of one or two 500k guy, even if they're not there much. I feel that disunity in opinion in many orcas is why the voice don't count sometimes
Differences of opinion are ok and we should protect that. Unanimity is not what we should thrive for. Hopefully, on critical matters more people will find a common ground. However, that often comes after some drama, if there are different sides with opposite views on what is the best thing to do.
Personally I think it's both an advantage as well as an Achilles heel.
For example, some people believe in the Hive car race, others think it's not and then drama ensues making it difficult for the chain to progress much further than it should
Well, that's how decentralization works, with good and bad parts.