so I took this picture in 2022
Maroon Five's Memories used to be one of my favorite songs, and that is because the lyrics are meaningful; they are not just sentences strung together by a drunk person or someone under the influence of weed or another form of intoxication.
The lyrics speak volumes, and it is clear that they are about loss. On YouTube, the songs with the most comments and views are about love and loss.
The lead singer bawled his heart out in this one. In reality, we can interpret loss in a variety of ways, including death, the loss of love, friendship, companionship, or the loss of pleasant memories.
You can lose people without them dying, but sometimes the worst loss is when they are no longer available. You can not hear them speak or see their faces, and their memories may fade over time while the pain remains.
Except for permanent losses, the majority of losses are manageable.
When people lose money, love, or health, their ability to adapt and recover can compensate for the loss. When people break up, it takes time to heal, but the heart eventually recovers, thanks to life's coping mechanism, which includes replacing old memories with new ones.
This is what life is all about: without memories, we are just zombies. These memories are both good and bad, and we usually work hard to replace the bad memories with good ones.
So, when the loss is temporary, we usually succeed; when the opposite is true, the pain is permanent. We may experience the illusion of closure, but no one truly heals; we simply adapt to the pain and learn to live with it.
I do not mind the temporary loss of people in my life.
When you have dealt with permanent loss, there is no reason you can not handle temporary loss. The (temporary) loss of a job, a friend, a business partner, or possibly some friends with whom you are no longer affiliated.
I understand that pain is pain, and sometimes we can not ignore a lesser pain, but in reality, I used to tell myself that if I lose people because our interests no longer align, our business is over, or we simply became distant for no reason, as long as they are alive and doing well in their own way, I am fine with them not being here.
It will be more difficult for me to deal with the idea that they are dead or vice versa, and just because I had a bad relationship with them does not mean I do not wish them well in whatever they do in life.
Most of the time, I check the social media updates of people with whom I am no longer affiliated, or their Telegram updates, to see how they are doing, and I do this in a subtle way, not spooking them with a "hello" or something similar.
Make-up conversations are difficult, so rather than making people uncomfortable by instilling guilt in them, it is best to just let them be and live their lives.
In reality, we were all born apart, and this is how it will remain.
When good and bad things happen, they happen individually, and no matter how you are connected or affiliated with someone, they get to enjoy their successes, failures, pain, and happiness separately, just as you will.
So it is mostly okay to admit that you will be alone during your most difficult times in life.
Life is shaped in a multidimensional way, with people living in the illusion of security or comfort, but we are rarely as safe or secure as we believe.
There is no need to jinx it.
When you think about life, losses, pain, and uncertainties too much, you develop a psychological divide. So, most of the time, just enjoy the present moment and try to replace sad memories with less sad ones.
for the record,I look nothing like this in the present, I think I've lost a lot of weight which now makes my cheekbones more evident than it was, like in this picture (it's not a good thing to lose weight for me)
I was looking through a few photos I would taken over the years, and some of them made me sad, while others made me laugh uncontrollably.
Just looking at one picture brings back memories of the event, as if it happened yesterday. In fact, you relive it as if it were yesterday, and it is amazing how something can happen a long time ago, but with just one spark, you remember it like it was yesterday.
In my battle with my health complications, I have often struggled with forgetfulness, where I am in the moment but my mind is already lost in the past, and I recall getting my food burned months ago because I completely forgot I was cooking.
Most of the time, I was preoccupied with all the permanent losses that had ravaged me, and because they were permanent, it was difficult to let them go, because, let us be honest, we can not put new pictures in an old album.
an old picture that reflects recent state of mind
This is quite different from losing people temporarily due to life events. I am not one to dwell on such losses; I just believe they are unavoidable due to the transactional and transcendent nature of life.
Cheers To The Things That We Have
Our memories are the most powerful thing we have, and they are what define us as higher beings in our universe. It is funny how a few memories flooding the mind can elicit a variety of emotions.
It is how you can cry and laugh at the same time, or frown and smile simultaneously.
Memories Brings Back Memories
I cherish the memories of people I have temporarily lost because one day, I might meet them again and possibly make amends with them, or maybe not. If it does not happen, I am fine with that.
I am coming to terms with the harshness of reality, and in the end, our journey is to live our lives alone, not with others. We cannot live someone else's life or vice versa. We are all we have, and everything else can disappear.
This is why we never give up on ourselves, even when others do. That is why we do not rely on the strength of others, regardless of who they are to us.
I am not sure if I am realizing this too early in life. However, there is no "too early" or "too late" in life. We are here today, but we might not be tomorrow, and there is nothing we can do but accept this reality.
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
@bhattg thanks
Permanent losses will always come in life, I've had too many. So you keep of going because there is no other option. However, we are still alive so there is always hope that the future may yet be brighter than yesterday. At least I hope!
Hopefully the temporary stuff will move on sooner than later. However, I know exactly what you mean and completely understand it.
I've not been in a good place lately and it has lingered for a few days and I've been in a reflective mood and sometimes the struggle just continues and it's difficult to shake yourself out of it.
I do understand what you mean. We're and we have no option other to survive.
Just this morning, I and my sister were having a conversation around this area. It's really hard to deal with a permanent loss. The thought of it is just the memory of the person you have left with you; you can never get to see or hear from them again, is a different kind of pain you have to deal with.
Yes, permeant losses are different and they feel different. Coming from someone who has experienced multiple of them, life feels unreal, like a different reality with the mind never remaining the same anymore.
Absolutely
Life just happens, but I think you are slowly accepting that there are things you can't change. I am glad to hear that you are remembering the good times you had with people, and you are considering how to move forward. It's been a rough loss for you and I remember all the other posts you made on this topic.
Yeah, well it's been a long time I made a post about these issues. A lot has happened in the background and I just want to keep them to myself. However, sometimes we just want to pour our heart out and just bawl. Thanks for your kind words
Loses hurt, and as individuals, we handle situations very differently.
For the fact that we do not know how to handle situations of loss correctly sometimes, we prefer to hold on to unhealthy relationships instead.
Life happens and for the sake of our sanity and progress, there are certain people we need to stay away from and wish them well from a distance.
Well, a relationship might not be unhealthy, sometimes it just doesn't work and people have to go their separate ways. In this type of loss I think it teaches the appropriate lessons that at the end of the day, we're all we have and that's how it'll remain.
Losses are the worst. It feels like your heart is in pain, and you just want to tear it out. Thank God for the Holy Spirit because sometimes even the people around us can't help with the hurt.
I also agree with you on dealing with temporary loss. Acknowledging that these things happen, and knowing they’re doing okay, makes it a little easier. Great write!
It's just the illusion of security, at the end of the day we're all we have and every other person we think we have is just an illusion.
Thanks for dropping and checking, I appreciate it.
It is hard to control your feeling
and feeling loss is so bad, You see the dark in front of you and Your mind temporarily stop
Yeah, the mind just malfunctions in many ways
❤️❤️
Part of me thinks that we hardly recover from permanent losses, especially if profound memories are associated with that loss. These memories will keep on surfacing back into our consciousness even after years has passed.
I think I'm also having that realization of nothing being too late or too early. I see time a bit differently now, trying to live eternally in the present.
I stopped listening to maroon five's song memories, it makes me always remember the people I've lost, making me cry all over again.
That's just the reality of life, we've all embraced the fact that we are gonna be living our lives without that one special person in it.
This is the worst reality to accept .
Heart chains ❤️🩹