Man, I completely identified with your text, even though I'm Brazilian, but I go through the same experience, blaming the same characters (family, government, desires and positive thoughts), I've already dedicated a lot of my time on the net, always trying to find "the right way" the "secret" that hasn't been revealed yet, on how to get real money, access another layer, another reality. It's not as if I don't struggle in life... I know it would be even worse if I just gave up digital work in my spare time and focused on a conventional job that pays very little around here. If you discover any really efficient ways, please let me know! We're together!