ESPAÑOL
Todavía recuerdo el momento en que decidí volver a Venezuela, estaba nerviosa y ansiosa porque deseaba mucho venir, quería volver a ver a mi familia, volver a pisar el suelo de mi ciudad (Barquisimeto), extrañaba mucho estar aquí, donde nací y crecí, donde viví los mejores y peores momentos. Pero por otro lado, el pensar en todo lo que implicaba volver así fuera solo de visita, tenía que renunciar a mi trabajo y eso era lo que realmente me estresaba.
Pasaba noches en vela pensando que hacer, si renunciar era lo correcto. La verdad ese trabajo no me gustaba pero de alguna manera me sentía atada a este, durante mucho tiempo pensé en renunciar pero no me atrevía, me aterraba lo que fueran a pensar de mi o simplemente pensaba que no iba a poder generar ingresos de otras fuentes que no fue ese trabajo. Pero a pesar de todo estaba decidída adejar ese trabajo, donde no era feliz, donde no me sentía satisfecha.
En diciembre de 2023 le dije a mi primo que si, que me vendría con él en enero, él tenía planes desde hace tiempo para venir, esta era mi oportunidad. Así que me arme de valor y tome la decisión de renunciar, a parte de que era la excusa perfecta. Decir que me iba porque pesaba ir a Venezuela. Y la verdad es que me parece algo patetico, tener que buscar una excusa para salir de donde ya no queremos estar, deberíamos de tener el valor para decir NO, ya no quiero estar aquí y nadíe debería tener el derecho de reclamarnos nada.
Después de pasar todo ese proceso de estrés, de si renunciar o no, de si venir o no. Creo haber tomado la decisión correcta. Hoy tengo un mes y 22 días en Venezuela, y a pesar de los inconvenientes que atraviesa mi pais, me he sentido bastante bien. He tenido la oportunidad de salir a dirvertirme un poco, he visitado dos rios, he ido a Cubiro y unas que otras salidas a centros comerciales y a caminar por la ciudad. Me he puesto a dibujar, cosa que tenía mucho tiempo sin hacer ya que mi trabajo poco me lo permitía. Me siento relajada, libre, tengo tiempo para mi, para dedicarme a lo que me gusta, y se todavía me quedan cosas por hacer.
Se que debo volver a Bogotá, pero se también que esta vez será diferente. Mi objetivo es ser freelance y el emprendimiento digital, ya no quiero depender de un sueldo mínimo, quiero ser mi propia jefe, quiero entregar toda mi energía y mi tiempo a mis propios negocios y a mi bienestar tanto físico como mental.
La moraleja de todo esto es que, a veces pasamos tanto tiempo trabajando para los sueños de alguien mas que nos olvidamos completamente de nosotros mismos, de que también nosotros tenemos sueños, metas por cumplir, y sí, se que da miedo renunciar a nuestra zona de confort, no es fácil, pero entregamos todo lo mejor de nosotros para el beneficio de alguien mas, que puede que no lo valore o pueda que si. El punto es que todo ese tiempo, energía y conocimiento que dejamos en ese trabajo debería ser para nosotros, para invertirlo en nuestros sueños, solo hay que buscar la manera, porque si se puede, solo es cuestión de soltar el miedo.
ENGLISH
I still remember the moment I decided to return to Venezuela, I was nervous and anxious because I wanted to come back, I wanted to see my family again, to step on the soil of my city (Barquisimeto), I missed being here, where I was born and grew up, where I lived the best and worst moments. But on the other hand, the thought of all that was involved in returning, even if it was just for a visit, I had to quit my job and that was what really stressed me out.
I spent sleepless nights thinking about what to do, if quitting was the right thing to do. The truth is that I did not like that job but somehow I felt tied to it, for a long time I thought about quitting but I did not dare, I was terrified of what they would think of me or simply thought that I would not be able to generate income from other sources than that job. But in spite of everything I was determined to leave that job, where I was not happy, where I did not feel satisfied.
In December 2023 I told my cousin that yes, I would come with him in January, he had plans for a long time to come, this was my chance. So I plucked up the courage and made the decision to quit, besides it was the perfect excuse. To say that I was leaving because I was sorry to go to Venezuela. And the truth is that I find it pathetic, having to look for an excuse to leave where we no longer want to be, we should have the courage to say NO, I no longer want to be here and no one should have the right to claim anything.
After going through all that stressful process, whether to quit or not, whether to come or not. I think I made the right decision. Today I am one month and 22 days in Venezuela, and in spite of the inconveniences that my country is going through, I have felt pretty good. I have had the opportunity to go out and have some fun, I have visited two rivers, I have gone to Cubiro and a few other outings to shopping malls and walking around the city. I have started to draw, something that I had a long time without doing since my work did not allow me to do so. I feel relaxed, free, I have time for myself, to dedicate myself to what I like, and I still have things to do.
I know I have to go back to Bogota, but I also know that this time it will be different. My goal is freelance and digital entrepreneurship, I no longer want to depend on a minimum wage, I want to be my own boss, I want to give all my energy and time to my own business and my physical and mental well-being.
The moral of all this is that sometimes we spend so much time working for someone else's dreams that we completely forget about ourselves, that we also have dreams, goals to achieve, and yes, I know it is scary to give up our comfort zone, it is not easy, but we give all the best of us for the benefit of someone else, who may not value it or may value it. The point is that all that time, energy and knowledge that we leave in that job should be for us, to invest it in our dreams, we just have to find the way, because if you can, it's just a matter of letting go of fear.
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Tough to take such decisions, glad you managed to do, hometown is like the embrace of mother, we long for it always. The people who work abroad understands it better.
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