Well, this is actually a common practice for other people to cut ties, you know. This method is considered practical and fast because it does not require any confirmation.
It seems that both the perpetrator and the victim must understand when the relationship has ended, without clear communication. But, this method is not good.
However, what exactly is ghosting? Come on, find out the full meaning of this term!
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is a condition where someone you have a crush on or are close to ends the relationship without any explanation.
Much like a ghost who comes uninvited and leaves without saying goodbye. So don't be surprised if this behavior is equated with a ghost, actually this behavior is closely related to the Giver of False Hope (PHP).
Not only in the world of love, this can also happen in platonic friendships. This is a type of friendship in which both have a tendency to be "attracted" to each other, but still prefer to be friends. Because you have a bad feeling or have entered the friendzone area, one can usually run away, aka ghosting, in order to maintain feelings for each other.
Why is Ghosting Popular?
Istilah ini sebenarnya sudah populer di tahun 1990-an. Beberapa penulis dan cendwkiawan budaya pop menggunakan istilah tersebut untuk menggambarkan ghost writer dalam musik hip-hop. Lalu, kata ini mulai populer lagi semenjak media sosial dan aplikasi kencan online makin booming.
Dilansir Psychology Today, menyebutkan kalau dalam budaya kencan modern saat ini, sekitar 50 persen pria dan wanita menjadi korban ghosting. Bahkan beberapa di antaranya justru enggak tahu bagaimana harus bereaksi ketika mengalami fenomena tersebut.
Reasons People Ghosting
Ghosting is also not limited to just romantic relationships, you know. If you make a promise with a friend and you don't come, you are subconsciously ghosting. The perpetrator will usually disappear after intense communication.
The reason ghosting often occurs in psychology is avoiding certain fears or avoiding conflict. It is possible that the person is avoiding hurting someone's feelings or is lazy about having complicated conversations.
But still, this action is not good because it is cowardly in solving problems. So, what causes some people to do that?
Here are some reasons why someone is ghosting:
- He really doesn't like you.
- So too busy so that he doesn't care about his relationship with you anymore.
- Run out of chatter material.
- Feeling afraid of getting to know someone new or afraid of their reaction if they break up.
- Not realizing that they are ghosting.
- It is possible that the relationship he has had a negative impact on his quality of life.
The difference between Ghosting and Silent Treatment
Who here has fights with friends or crush but chooses to keep it quiet for days? If it's like that, it means you don't realize you've done a silent treatment, guys. But don't worry, you're not alone.
Many people also do this for a while to avoid fighting so that it doesn't continue. Even though it is a good intention, this will not make the relationship better.
Silent treatment can actually make relationships become tenuous and eventually separate if they are left too long. Yes, as we all know, communication is the key to a successful relationship.
If there is a problem, no matter how small the problem is, it must be discussed carefully and with a cool head, Quipperian. So that you can know the core of the problem and find a solution together.
So, what's the difference with ghosting?
If the silent treatment is carried out by someone as an emotional form or anger to teach others a lesson, ghosting is done because that person really doesn't want to have any more contact with you.
Ghosting Impact
In fact, that emotional rejection activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain. For example, a broken heart is as painful as you fall. But what's worse, when people are exposed to ghosting, the rejection actually strengthens the insecure inside.
You become doubtful about your self-worth and think about what is wrong with yourself so they ghosting you. Feelings of helplessness because of being abandoned can lead to severe trauma. As a result, victims can experience depression and even lose their purpose in life.
Not only victims, perpetrators also experience the effects of ghosting, you know. They will get used to not being responsible for anything. In their minds it will be imprinted if leaving someone without clarity is a common thing. So, be a responsible human, yes!
Sad to say, ghosting seems to be common nowadays, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing to do. Try to be considerate and put yourself on the victim's side. Treat others the way you want to be treated, that's the golden rule.
For those of you who are affected by ghosting, let's move on and stop blaming yourself. There's nothing wrong with you!
Spend your time with loved ones and it's better to make your dreams come true because life has to keep going.