In this life, someone will definitely go through various sad things. His name is an ordinary person, there must be times when we feel sad and happy.
If you've ever watched an animated film called Inside Out, that's how we feel. The emotions we have are bound to change, sometimes angry, sad, disappointed, worried and happy. This is perfectly normal and human.
Psychologically, all the feelings we have have their respective functions. So, we don't need to deny it when our feelings are sad and pretend to be happy.
What is Toxic Positivity?
Currently, the term toxic positivity is being discussed everywhere. Toxic positivity is a condition in which someone who is feeling depressed or sad, wants to look happy in the eyes of others.
When you see a friend who is down, but you encourage them, you are spreading toxic positivity, you know. Because, when you are in that condition you understand that what your friend needs is empathy, not toxic positivity.
Reporting from the Roomper page, according to Jennifer Howard Ph.D, advice to always think positively or read a motivational book that tells you to always think positively at all times will actually make someone feel afraid, sad, sick, and feel alone. Constantly trying to always think positively so that it is unrealistic will instead be toxic and feel fake to the person.
Characteristics of Toxic Positivity
Then, what are the characteristics of toxic positivity sentences that you might have conveyed to your friends or vice versa? Listen below, yes.
- The sentence "Don't Give Up"
Surely you often hear this sentence, especially when you are in a very disadvantaged position. Most friends will definitely say this sentence to cheer you up. But believe me that this sentence is a form of toxic positivity.
In fact, humans must have been at their lowest point. When we have to give up on a condition, it's not a bad thing, really. Indeed that is life.
Now, when your friend is in a bad condition, it's better to say, "Just relax, sometimes giving up doesn't hurt." This will help them see new things in the future and learn to give up the things that are hard to get.
- The sentence "Stay Positive"
It is certain that in life there are many things that are not according to our expectations. Of course this is very common. However, when we are experiencing this, we sometimes forget that it is very natural to happen. Until finally many people try to empathize with us and say to "stay positive".
In reality, it doesn't have much of an effect on those who are at a very low level. If you want to empathize with your friend in times like that, try to ask him to let go of things that didn't go according to plan and have happened, because actually sometimes things that happen are not always what we expected.
- The sentence "There are still many less fortunate ones out there"
Basically, all humans just want to be understood, especially under certain conditions, such as when they are experiencing difficulties and are at their lowest point. At times like that, they just want to be heard complaining. However, sometimes people actually try to cheer up and say that "there are still a lot of unlucky ones out there."
Instead of feeling better, we will feel intimidated, as if we are not grateful for what we have gotten so far. We should open ourselves up and understand it by listening carefully, when we find our friends are in a bad condition.
- The sentence "You Are Less Grateful"
There is not a single person who wants to be labeled less grateful in this world. Believe me, that feeling disappointed in something is not a bad thing. This is precisely a way to vent pent up emotions over something that is disappointing.
Therefore, sometimes someone needs to be heard when they are down. Precisely by saying the sentence "you are not grateful", the person who is down will feel even more sad.
That is the definition and several sentences that show the characteristics of toxic positivity. Do you and your friends experience it often? The only way to deny things like this is to have a firm stand and principles. If you are strong and confident in yourself, of course what other people say will not have much effect on you.