Xurble / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
I was born in a ramshackle zoo in the outskirts of Wilmerton, Connecticut, but before I even got to know my family, I was shipped out to a big-time zoo in Denver. My years as a young blackback were spent there, but as I matured, I got to be pretty good looking.
If you happened to see a particularly striking photograph of a very good-looking ape posing... it was probably one of me.
Yes, for thirteen years I lived the high life in Hollywood. And when I went on the road, ape babes would do just about anything to get to meet me. I had a deal with my agent to put me up in the town’s zoo for the night, and let me tell you, this boy saw lots of action on those trips.
The photo above, stole lots of lady ape hearts during the years I was top model. I’m sure that many were broken the day I announced my retirement. I was about to start my own line for the fashionable male ape, in a deal my agent had worked out with a highly-praised clothing manufacturer. My future looked great.
Action on sealing the deal ran into some legal issues, and the whole thing ended up in arbitration lasting a few years, during which time yours truly put on some extra weight, as seen in the photo below. I lost my sense of direction, and at my lowest point, I’d even resorted to sometimes flinging poo at zoo workers and visitors.
William Crochot / Wikimedia Commons
Over a period of several years, I went through lots of changes, and I was angry at the world for many of those years. I never had any children, or at least, none that I know of. I’ve never been sued for child support.
Eventually, I was able to make amends with myself, and I decided to settle down and become a writer. I like to write stories, and not only about apes. I like to write fiction mostly, sometimes with me playing a role in the story, but I also like to let my imagination wander to the lives and situations in which humans find themselves; from an ape’s perspective of course, but handled subtly.
Today, I’m well past my prime for modeling; I’m fat and so out of shape that I doubt I could even fling poo far enough to hit anyone. That’s why I’m ready to accept that I need a more relaxed and productive way to spend my time, and writing is the thing that’s going to help me adjust.
I hope to contribute some interesting and entertaining content here on hive, and I’d like to do it on a regular basis.
I must say up front, that I do have an occasional problem with keyboards. Oftentimes, when something isn’t going right, or I’m in a bad mood, I can go through keyboards like nobody’s business. When that happens, it could take the zoo office a day or two to provide me a new one.
My keyboard sometimes has a mind of it's own. It hates the word have, it is constantly spelling it as ahve, and then I need to go and fix it, sometimes it escapes and lands on the post or comment, and then it's either oh-well or I have to edit it. has is another word my keyboard hsa issues with, see, it did it again.
I understand the keyboard issue, almost time for me to get a new one. that last picture looks like he may have had one to many grape cocktails.
That happens to me too, but it's usually because I'm typing too fast. I have the same trouble with "because" when I'm typing fast. It comes out becasue and I have to fix it. Thanks for reading my introduction.
Welcome @apeskunk, looking forward to some of your stories fictional and maybe from your heydays. I share you problem with keyboards, although mine tends to be with screens, I sometimes don't like what they are showing me and it can be pricey to replace :)
Thank you @penderis. Yes, I will certainly elaborate on my life as the world's top male ape model every now and then. I'm just wondering how much of the world is ready for a dive into the spicy life of an intriguingly handsome ape at the top of the modeling profession.
I don't have a problem with my screen, because I have that iconic first photo from my modeling portfolio as my screen background, and I'd never want that to be damaged. It's just too beautiful, TBH. Thank you for reading my introduction. 🐵