Oh my dear friend Mary. You really have had a good go at life and love. There was one thing that you said somewhere in there..
We choose to be in the relationships we think we deserve.
And that caught my attention. It's not like I haven't heard this saying before. I have read it many times and have even seen it play out in the movies. But the thing is, in real life.. slow moving life.. we tend not to realize the truth to this statement until we are truly quite vested in our idea of what the relationship means to us. We realize this and then feel like we have devoted way too much time and energy into it. We feel like we can control the incontrollable. We also feel like free will has no power over us, our love, and our need to be loved.
I am so sorry that you have to suffer heart break. I have been there and know the feeling well. Plain and simple it SUCKS. You are the strong one though. You are stronger than you think, because you know LOVE. It impowers you and will drive you from bed and back into the world.
TRUE LOVE WILL FIND YOU. I believe in this whole heartedly so. You hang in there and keep a part of yourself, your heart and your soul open for it. One day, @creativemary will be not only loved to your expectations, but deeply then you ever had imagined.
Until then, while you heal from this love battle.. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I will also keep a look out for cupid and tell him of this tragedy 😊. He needs to know that things are not as simple as arrows and candy hearts.
Awww reading this was like having a hot soup when you have a cold. Thank you, I can feel that you wrote it from your heart. It sucks and it's not pretty. Real life versus theory or movies is a whole different ball game. I knew all the theory but practice....was the hardest. The rational mind knows one thing, the emotions dictate another outcome. The good that I can see from this is the fact that I managed to track down the causes of my trauma and see why I was drawn to a certain pattern when it came to relationships. I am aware that my healing process will continue for the rest of my life, even when I will have a partner. We carry a lot of baggage from our childhood and we can't just hit a refresh button and make those go away.
It's huge to have someone say they keep you in their prayers, I am deeply touched by this and I thank you. Tell Cupid that I have learned to love myself first so the first arrow he should stick would be straight into my little heart. I know that when I will have lots of love for myself at the highest level, only then I will accept nothing less than what I deserve. I wanted to be honest and authentic and show that even beautiful talented people can have a rough time when it comes to love. And just simply admitting the whole thing is a huge thing for me as a person. I can only be patient with myself and embrace the journey. I will heal