Will i be able to love again?

in GEMS3 years ago (edited)

I'm so angry right now
What is this thing you guys call love?
How will this word make y'all do foolish things? no
I'm so mad that I just don't ever want to experience it with all that's going on
How will you love someone and then keep messing up?
You know they feel this way so you manipulate them back into your life
What do you want that your partner can't offer?
If you're tired of something, you throw it out same applies to people if you're fed up with someone, leave them alone
Tell them and walk away don't play with people's feeling and emotions it's really not fair.
Why do love make y'all crazy and foolish
You just stop thinking clearly like a dummy
You disrespect and soil my name all in the name of what?
People see me call me names and make snide comments all in the name of what?
I constantly forget my worth and value all because of what?
Like what am I doing?
What is all this ? I preach about this but can't do same thing I ask people to do?
I'm tired but I'm stuck
I feel like I'm tied to a place and I'm forbidden to move
I'm scared for my life
I'm trapped, enslaved and angry ,but I don't have a single power to make the decision for my life
I can't breath, I'm seriously gasping for air struggling and battling with myself
I'm trying not to make this same mistake again but I'm not even in control of myself..
I'm lost seriously and I don't think anyone is willing to save me.
They're all waiting to tell me "I told you so"
what am I supposed to do?
God this whole thing is so messed up😓
Insults, disrespect, worthless is now the new norm
I can't imagine how I'll keep begging for respect and loyalty
Like how am I supposed to tell one how to treat me?
I'm way passed this
This is not what i signed up for
This is not where I'm headed
I deserve more
I deserve better and God knows that
I'm fed up and angry to the core💔😔😔😓

I couldn't help narrating it like i was the one in the position. I was just to mad to control my emotions