It was September 19th, 2019.
I saw a lot of things that day.
Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash
Most days, as I walk to work, I cross paths with an old, slouched man. He looks thin, and even more so as he pushes his fully loaded and worn-out yellow bicycle. He wears slippers with very thin soles and shorts that could have seen better days. I always know it’s him when I catch a glimpse of the red handkerchief tied around the front of his faded yellow bicycle and the cap with visor that does not let me see his eyes. Sometimes, I would see his bicycle on the ground while he fumbles on the huge, dirtied sack he always seems to carry on his back. Sometimes he would be working on the bike’s gears – the pedal won’t turn. Sometimes he sits by the waiting shed and eats what I would assume his breakfast is – rice cakes wrapped in plastic. He eats them with much gusto.
Sometimes I want to talk to him.
Or help him. Or ask him if there is anything I can do for him.
That night, it rained as hard as it did the previous nights. As I walked home, I saw a boy waiting by a shed nearby. A student left stranded by the rain, I thought. He probably didn’t have an umbrella. As I got nearer the shed, I glimpsed a bicycle wheel… then a red handkerchief tied at the front… then eventually an old man.
I probably looked crazy, but I started tearing up when I passed them by. The old man I always come across in the morning starts his days too early, and ends them too late. About that time he should be in his home, resting. Instead, he was stuck in a cold, wet shed, watching the rain pour mercilessly, and probably hoping for it to tame.
Photo by dwi Pradhika on Unsplash
I saw a lot of things that day.
On the jeepney ride home that same day, I sat beside an old man. He was counting the coins in his hands. When I looked, the coins didn't amount to more than 15 pesos. I was humbled. Against the pouring rain, before I could even offer to lend a hand, he hopped off the jeepney without an umbrella.
And I was left there, stunned.
At the train station, by the exit, stood an old man. He was asking for alms. I was readying my coins for commute. Nobody heeded him. I passed him by and my heart broke because I felt bad. I wanted so bad to go back, give him the 9 pesos I’d scavenged from my bag, and wish him good night and a safe trip home. I wondered if he had an umbrella with him.
This was embarrassing, by I went on my merry way.
Photo by Zhipeng Ya on Unsplash
That day, I was on my way to buy Nanay her glucose strips. Upon exiting the train, I went down all three flights of stairs. The management didn't see it fit to place a working elevator or escalator, for some reason. At the bottom of the stairs, there was an old woman. She was trying to lift a plastic that looked heavy with stuff.
I passed her by.
Then I looked back.
Nobody was helping.
There were a lot of other people on their way up, but no one offered help. I felt my feet turn, my heart race, and my face burn.
Then I asked her, “Lola, do you want my help?” she laughed, relieved, thanked me, and told me it was probably heavy. I told her it would be heavier for her.
In the jeepney terminal, by the long line to Muñoz, there was an old woman. She had her hand held out, walking around. She wasn’t forcing herself to anybody, and nobody was heeding her anyway. I watched. She walked past. She sat on the bench provided by the barkers and watched everyone with sad, beady eyes.
What happened to her? I wonder.
She dressed well, a sign that she was striving to live by. Where were her kids? With the sky darkening with heavy clouds and impending rain, I wondered if she could get home safe and comfortably.
That night of September 19th, 2019, I prayed.
Lord, please help them and keep them safe. Please always protect them. I am extending this prayer to my parents, who live by themselves at home right now, and who strive to live the best they can. I extend this to my Titos and Titas, and every elder close to my heart. Please give them reasons to be happy, even simple ones. Please heal them of any pain they feel, and keep them warm always. I am praying that you keep them away from harm and sickness, and that they be able to do their jobs and tasks healthily and safely. Let them know my heart is with them.
Lord, please allow me a courageous heart to not shy away when it comes to lending a hand. The same way that leap of adrenaline did when I threw caution and shyness to wind and just helped the old woman.
I hope to be someday instrumental
to their comfort and happiness.
It was one single day, but I saw a lot of things. I heard many stories just from looking into peoples' eyes. I felt the anxiety of many, but moreover, the will to live. It stuns to think that a twenty-something-year-old like me feels so tired of life way too many times, but old people like those I came across with that day do so much from their power to get by.
This is @erangvee, and since that day, I promised a lot of things.
Photo by Cristian Escobar on Unsplash
This post was originally written September 19, 2019, on my Google Keeps notes. I published this online and can hence also be read through my Wordpress.
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I'm crying. I vow to keep a decent amount of money so I can help them. huhu