I've done this even with people who haven't passed away.
Maybe this sounds strange - but when I was dating, and I really didn't want to call the other person and be accessible (and vulnerable) and potentially tell them that we should try again when I knew we should really not...
I would use my little recorder (at the time - the mini-cassette recorder that I used for taping University lectures, but now the little voice recorder in phones would work!)
and just talking to them...(myself, but feeling like I WAS talking to them and actually COULD send that if i wanted to hold it up to a phone later hahahaha) let me get it all out.
and then - before I actually did it - I'd listen to it and think... are you mad?!?!?! you are NOT getting back together. You dodged a bullet - and you're sounding extra pathetic. so cut it out!!!!
and voila - i got it out of my system (saying the things I was so tempted to say) shook myself soundly (after listening to how terribly desperate i sounded) and then taped Intro to Ethics 101 over it - and put those mini cassettes to better use
hehehehehe
If we TALK out loud (or even write, but talking allows for SO MUCH MORE CATHARSIS IN MY OPINION - because its just flowing and unfiltered) we allow ourselves to just gush, and flow - which then brings healing.
too many people mock talking to ourselves.... i think that's why we have so many people bottled up!
i love talking to myself.
Thank you, dreem - I love talking to you too.
Awwww how sweet, Dreem. hugs!
I agree. This can be used for people we have lost in a variety of ways. I had a client whose relative had mistreated her. The relative refused to discuss the situation. Instead, I suggested she act out what she would want to say to that relative and how she would wish that person could respond. It can be very healing.
What's interesting is that, for some people, it is better out loud like me and my candle and you and your tape recorder, but for others, the written word can be more healing. What helps is very personal. Some people get better results literally acting it all out with a therapist or trusted friend. This is more in the case where there is a serious issue than when you just need some simple closure with a departed loved one.
you're right - i bet my husband would rather write it out slowly.
me? I have verbal diarrhea LOLOL
I can explain how to ship a body from Nevada to California because she died in Arizona so insurance avoided paying out the policy.
i cannot even fathom.
honestly- insurance companies. its a prerequisite that you have no shame and less heart. wow.