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Continuation ....
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"Honey, please be careful and be nice" my wife said as she finished knotting my tie and started decorating it
"Shaa don't use tie to choke me o" I simply replied as I reached out for my tea
"That's the sixteenth time you're sipping from one cup of tea this morning and it's yet to reach half of the cup" she exaggerated
I looked into the cup to confirm and the tea is nearly finished unlike she claimed
"Oh yee monitoring Spirit, thou are 'wrongeth' this time" I tried to sound like the Bible
"Huh, karamo 😒, with oyinbo that can't graduate primary school"
"Huh, Shey because I'm talking like that, I'm more brilliant than you o"
"Nibo, don't say that again" she argued
"Ah God of Israel" ,I lamented "Wahala for who marry lawyer o"
"Yen yen yen whatever, na me say make you no sabi book?" she replied
"Is like you don't know anything, go and ask around, Olabisi Onabanjo University department of Mass Communications, I was the best graduating student of my set" I countered
" Hhmmm, lori iro, with that your GP that can't flash Airtel to Airtel? , as if no be that same OOU me self graduate from, Mtwww" she hissed
"Solemnly I tell you madam, don't get me annoyed this morning else... "
"Else what, you won't cook for me again huh?" she interrupted
" We know your story too o, don't be forming commando for me here o"
"What's my story bro, tell me, I'm ready for this discussion"
"Madam leave me o, I'm going to work"
"Iwo jebi, stay and argue with me ehn"
"I don't know who gave them the permission to give you a break at work"
"Ain't you the cause Huh?" she said pointing to her belly
"Ehn ehn, that reminds, see this kids ( I said pointing to her baby bump), since you're the brilliant one here, you'll be the one to teach them their Mathematics assignments" I said and carried my laptop from the table
"Heey Alaye no carry that one come oo" she protested
"But you're brilliant nau"
"Shey that joke is paining you ni, sorry na" she said and give me a peck
"Ahnn, o fe bribe mi(you want to bribe me) , just because of my babies assignments 😂"
"Wait, who even told you there are babies there and not a baby"
"See Auntie, don't use talku talku to delay me, I'm going to work, I have interviews to do" Cos that's how we will be going from one issue to another, that's what happens when a Journalist marries a lawyer
She wore me my Blue Blazzers Suit and carried my tea flask as we both walk outside. I pressed the car key I'm holding and her car sounded instead of mine. " You see, can't you recognise your car key again?"
"Isn't it you that used talk talk to distract me?, Oya go and fetch me my key ma"
"Uncle Dont stress me with this condition o, kuku carry my car and go"
"Well said" I replied and got inside.
"Muah muah, have a nice day ahead baby" she kissed, "And Be nice"
"Wahala" I replied as I drove away.
© Stefanus Neymar
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"Good morning sir" my secretary greeted as I highlighted
"Morning Peju" I replied
"Those people are around for the interview sir"
"Alright Fetch those stuffs from the car" I said and handed the car key to her, I walk swiftly away glancing at my wrist watch, 9:46am.. Damn, I'm fvcking late today, but who's gonna question the boss.
"Good morning sir... Good morning sir" they all greeted as I walk majestically through the reception like those Korean starboys in my Blue-black tapped blazzer, black trousers and pairs of neatly polished black shoes with the tie my wahala wife intentionally tied tight for me, that girl ehn.
"Mooooorning everyone" I stressed the words slowly.
Those people must be murmuring among themselves with my action and fashion
There I saw Funmilayo sitting at the back row somewhere in the large reception where the applicants sat patiently and anxiously waiting for me , my heart skipped a beat when I saw her our eyes flew past themselves as I glanced through them, they were like 25-30 sitting there for today , she couldn't recognise me I guess and I was happy about that , I exhaled and walked straight to my office.
At few minutes past 10, I told Peju to start calling in the applicants in one by one for their interview,
And there we go, it was all going well.
My wife called at some point to ask how far
" It's yet to reach her turn baby"
"Okay honey, take care.. And be..."
"...Nice" I completed it and we both laughed
"Take care of my babies and don't starve them"
"Only your babies?, me nko"
"You? , who are you"
"Ehnn Ehnn, you didn't know that one when you came to prostrate and take me away from my father's house o"
"Auntie calm down, na joke I dey" I gave up, to avoid long drama again
"Better" she replied, " Buy ice cream for your babies Whrn you're coming home"
"Ahn, my babies or you, do my babies take ice cream already?"
"You don't know? "
"Sha don't teach them 'ijekuje' from pregnancy"
"E pele oo baba olomo wewe" (Sorry o father of infants)
"Thankiu"
"I love you ... Bye, muah"
" I hhate you more, muah 😘 " I replied
The applicant in front of me was blushing 😂
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"Nexxxt".... Slowly the door opened
And here come Miss Bernard Funmilayo Olaitan.
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To be continued.