Hey. So I did make an entry, about two days ago. It was a long post entry titled Playing the Right Cards. Here's a brief summary on it. 👇🏽
I found a particular user here on Hive to quite promising, but his demeanour on the articles of other people was quite concerning. He had been berated a lot by many people and even threatened by downvotes to do better than just "Nice post." I learned more about him by digging afterwards, of course. What I found was interesting.
He was a pretty nice guy with good content about his work and life with his lovely family. What more I found is that he came on here without an onboarder. That made more sense as to why he "didn't know better." Then I thought to enlighten him, but I had to do it in a much different way from what others had tried.
I had to learn more about him a little more and figure out a palatable way to talk with him and let him see the importance of being much more expressive than spam comments. Then I wrote him.
What I did isn't something that people would normally do, and myself as well. I did it, however, because i deemed it worth a try. He received and acknowledged it.
Weeks afterwards, he made a post about everything and how different things have been for him, thanking me as well. And when I check him and his activity, I realised that he had been doing much better indeed.
How to Win Friends and Influence People was were I drew the techniques I applied in discussing the issue with him. I understood that criticism is very ineffective, and that appreciation works way better, among other things.
"Any fool can criticise—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." This is one of the many quotes in that book by Dale Carnegie that reminds me.
There's more depth to this in the long post, of course. I hope you find time to check it out.
Hey! It is very nice to see that there are people who will take the time to guide new users on this platform. Yes, any fool can criticize and most of them will. I remember the days when I was quick to criticize and I cringe. But I learned a lot since then and I am continously improving. Criticizing is the worst one can do as it does not solve the issue and it also hurts the dignity of the other. In fact the book of Dale Carnegie is like a second bible that most people should read again and again. The book is gold when it comes to figuring out how to extract the best out of any human interaction. You did well in not assuming anything. It is easy to cast the blame instead of trying to find out the reasons behind someone's behaviour. I feel that when it comes to giving a feedback one can always learn and improve in regards on how to do it in order to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Dealing with people the right way when they do wrong is an art. Thank you for your entry!