Does age matter in relationships or marriages? I guess this is the question many people ask themselves. Well, in some cases, age does matter, and in some other cases, it doesn't matter. At times, age differences pose issues in relationships. When one person is older than the other, there is always a power imbalance that makes mutual understanding difficult. The older person will surely have more life experiences, sometimes financial stability and social influence that would intimidate the younger one. Age difference also raises questions about maturity and life achievements. But to some extent, I've seen where age doesn't determine maturity or character. To make a relationship grow, it takes two people who are ready to love, care, sacrifice, treat each other with respect, and honor each other regardless of age.
To go into a relationship, one must be physically, mentally, and emotionally ready. When it comes to marriage, the age restriction is set just to serve as guidelines to ensure maturity takes its full course both physically, mentally, and emotionally. You will see a 20-year-old or 22-year-old lady going into the relationship and managing it well, which would turn to marriage and last forever, while a 30-year-old lady full of experience would not be able to handle herself or a relationship well. Other factors such as respect, good communication, and care also play a vital role in relationships as much as birthdate.
In marriages or relationships, I've seen couples in which the husband is 10 years older than the wife, which I don't like because of the distance between them. The husband is regarded as the head of the family; this is undisputed, but the husband should also respect the wife because she has rights as the mother of the house. In a marriage where respect is lost irrespective of the side, either the husband or the wife, there will be an imbalance in the house. Due to the age difference between this couple, the husband always disrespects the wife; he doesn't regard anything said by the wife. He always finds faults in everything she says or does; the husband makes decisions concerning the affairs of the house without consulting the wife, and for this reason, it makes me conclude that there should be a huge difference in couples' ages.
My mom and my dad are age mates, yet that doesn't bring disrespect between them both. My mom regards my dad as the head of the house, while my dad, in return, respects my mom and makes her opinion count in decision-making. This is the right way to handle relationships to avoid unnecessary arguments and misunderstandings between them. Again, I've seen a marriage where the wife is four years older than the husband, and no one can tell except you are being told. Respect and good communication are just so pleasant that people ask if they fight at all. There is honor, care, love, understanding, and good communication between them even though the wife is older. She gives her husband the respect he deserves as the head of the family, and they both make decisions on the affairs of the house without involving the third party; that is a high level of maturity on display. The day I got to know that the wife was older than the husband, I was left dumbfounded because it just wasn't obvious at all. Then I thought again that age is just a number not a rigid determinant of a successful relationship or marriage.
When I'm ready for marriage, I would love to go for someone who is not so older than I am, 4 years to say at least. To me, there should be closeness between the two people who are willing to become one, not one person taking it too rigid due to age differences. If I can't be free with you as my partner or communicate with you as I wanted then what is the relationship all about? And if possible, I'm older than my partner; it shouldn't be the source of arrogance or disrespect that could cause the relationship or marriage to peace. Age is just a number that is set as a guideline to ensure adequate preparation before attempting a relationship or marriage; other factors like maturity, honesty, care, love, good communication, sacrifice, focus, discipline, and patience play a vital role in successful homes.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.
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I would say that it's natural for older men to be attracted to younger women, and for younger women to be attracted to older men. We need to consider how humans evolved.
Throughout most of our history, woman depended on men for resources, and older men with more experience and wisdom typically had more wealth/power. Of course, this has changed in recent centuries with women becoming more independent, but we cannot deny our evolutionary biology/psychology. Therefore a relationship with the man being older and the woman being younger will usually work out better in the long-run (within legal limits, of course).
As you mentioned, there needs to be mutual respect both ways, but it's a fine balance to strike. The truth is that a woman will lose respect for a man who allows her take charge and call the shots (as men are traditionally the leaders), but she will also fall out of love (or possibly abandon) a man who doesn't care for and respect her enough. An older man is probably better at striking that balance.
Hmm well said boss, there must be a balance but things had changed over the years.