It’s February and of course that means Valentine’s Day is going to be happening in about a week. The origins of what has become a day to express love is a bit on the murky side.
The most widely accepted theory is the day originated as a Christian feast day to honour Saint Valentine. He was a third century priest and martyr who defied the Roman emperor’s ban on marriage by secretly marrying couple to preserve the sanctity of marriage. He was eventually caught and executed.
Valentine’s Day started to be associated with romantic love around the 14th to 15th centuries. In those days, people would exchange love letters and gifts on Saint Valentine’s day to express their affection for each other. This seemed an appropriate way to honour Saint Valentine.
Commercializing of Valentine’s Day
Like most activities that gain popularity, the day has become very commercialized. Depending on the year, it’s estimated people spend about $30billion a year globally on Valentine’s Day with about $20billion being spent in the United States.
The most popular ways people spend for Valentine’s Day is:
Giving Gifts - Chocololates are by far the most popular of gift items after flowers and jewellery followed by stuffed animals like teddy bears and other personalized items.
Dining Out - Many couples decide to have a romantic dinner out together. Another popular way to have a romantic dinner is to hire someone to cater the dinner in their home.
Experiences - Couples also decide to enjoy their Valentine’s experience by having an experience like:
i - romantic getaways
ii - spa treatments
iii - adventure activities like sky diving, bungee jumping or hot air ballooning
iv - concerts and shows
v - cooking classes
Jewellery - This includes: diamond rings, heart-shaped jewellery, personalized jewellery, couples watches matching, pearl jewellery (pearls are often associated with love, purity and elegance)
Flowers - Roses, about 200 million of them, are by far the most popular followed by tulips lilies and daisies as they are valued for their beauty, fragrance and symbolic meaning.
The Downside to the Commercialization
The gifts are all ways of expressing love from one to another. Spending money to express a feeling can be fraught with misunderstandings.
In this current economy especially, but at any time, buying Valentine’s gifts of any kind can quickly see the cost mount up. For many, this creates a financial burden and undue pressure to spend.
The pressure from a social standpoint is bad enough, but when that pressure comes from within the relationship either directly or through perceived expectations, it can put a strain on a relationship. An imbalance in what each person can afford to spend adds a new layer of stress.
There’s also the question about just how does spending money actually express love. A person could go out and spend hundreds of dollars on a gift. Another person could buy a modest gift. Does it really mean the big spender loves more? Or could the smaller spender have the deeper love and has given what they can manage?
Celebrate the Day in a Thoughtful Way
I’m not saying that couples shouldn’t celebrate the day. Why not have some fun? Maybe plan it as an adventure and something you can both mutually agree upon. Even if you agree on what gifts will be, each person could still go and shop separately knowing the gift will be appreciated.
The most important part about the day to be enjoyed is how you enjoy each others company as you celebrate the day.
How Am I Going to Celebrate?
I’m not in a romantic relationship. While the day may be meant for celebrating romantic love. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to think of those in my life who I love and care for.
Shadowspub writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.
NOTE: unless otherwise stated, all images are the author’s
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Measuring love by monetary value is just wrong in my personal perspective. A good gift is a good gift no matter the cost unless one's partner is the "absolute materialistic" type. For me personally, I think DIY gifts is much better than things one can just buy because time spent to DIY is worth much more than money.
For instance, one Chinese friend of mine is writing her own 上林赋 to give to her boyfriend on Valentine's Day. 上林赋 is a Fu ("rhapsody" or "poetic exposition", according to wikipedia), and it's a very long text with 4,184 Chinese characters. It is said that "if you write out 上林赋, you will get the love of your heart" so that makes it a perfect Valentine's Day gift. She bought a scroll-like paper, which is not very expensive to replicate the ancient text look, and she is writing it with a modern ink pen (which is easier to use than an ink brush, but still not as easy as regular writing). It takes hours to do so; she worked on it till 1AM - 2AM every night for the past few days and she's not done by now. But I think the time and work she spent on this is worth much more than say, a jewelry she can just buy, even if the jewelry is worth a lot of money.
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Awesome post! Keep up the great work!
I have no plan for valentine day because it don't give me any kind of special feeling and I keep that day as normal as other day.
But the history of valentine day was unknown to me. Through your article I am able to know about it and thank you for sharing it and allowed me know about it.🙂
Your article touches on the denigration of many if not all traditional days of celebration or note. Only the artificial days sanctioned by the state are permitted any outward expression, all others are simply an opportunity for faceless internation corporations to market and sell to us.