I think within certain contexts, an all or nothing approach is the best if not the only way to go about a particular situation.
For example, you're either all committed or completely disengaged. I think this in itself is a potent ability to have against the uncertainty that usually accompanies major life decisions.
Very few people want to live half a life, or have half a dream realized, or do half a project. Half-hearted effort tends to be equated with wasted effort, since there's neither meaningful progress nor lasting satisfaction.
In my view, it borders around zero sum mentality to think or adopt that you either succeed completely or fail utterly, especially when you know most achievements come through incremental progress.
One of the shortcomings of a zero sum mentality is its blindness to partial victories.
But this is only a shortcoming when measured through the lens of realistic human experience.
Sometimes, I'm better off drawing a thick line in the sand, clearly delineating between commitment and hesitation.
In reality, it only takes a shift in perspective for this line to be erased from a binary worldview.
Coin Flip
But there's a deeper realization here: all-or-nothing thinking serves us well in specific domains and becomes a limitation in others.
When we're establishing boundaries in relationships, protecting our core values, or even committing to sobriety, binary thinking provides a necessary clarity and protection.
The recovering addict doesn't benefit from "just a little" relapse and also the person establishing healthy boundaries doesn't benefit from "occasional" violations, for the most part.
However, life itself resists binary categorization. It just doesn't conform to our desire for absolute certainty. The messy, beautiful complexity of human existence overflows any container we try to put it in.
It's often a topic of wonder for me to ponder on how aspects of ourselves crave the simplicity of clear categories, while reality insists on blurring the lines at every opportunity.
Learning a new skill or developing relationships or creating art can be viewed as individual journeys marked by gradual progression, plateaus, and occasional setbacks.
In these realms, all-or-nothing thinking is more or less a prison that turns normal human learning curves into perceived failures.
Catching A Flow
I'm trying to develop a "mature mind" that can hold both approaches simultaneously, applying each where appropriate instead of forcing a single framework onto every situation.
But one of the main challenges I've encountered is the changing nature of situations. There's a fluid-ness to how situations evolve over time.
Before I realize I need to change my framework, I'm crushed by the disconnect between my rigid thinking and life's fluid reality. I find myself subtlety frustrated when yesterday's clear boundaries turned into today's obstacles to growth.
Maybe also, it is a timing problem, in that we prefer to apply binary thinking too early in processes that require patience.
Usually, early commitment demands a black-and-white thinking to specifically establish momentum, but later stages require the flexibility to navigate complexity in order to keep progressing.
In most cases, the main reason we seek clarity is to make a binary choice. When complexity requires embracing the messy middle ground of gradual progress, then there's a different kind of clarity needed, one that embraces uncertainty as part of the process.
For me, this paradoxical "clear uncertainty" is the most sophisticated mental stance one can take: definitive about a particular direction yet still remaining open about the exact path.
Thanks for reading!! Share your thoughts below on the comments.
Thanks for the curation, I appreciate it :)
Flexibility and rigidity are things that go together like Yin and Yang.
We need to be flexible enough to adapt where needed, but we also need to have some rigidity otherwise we will flip all over the place and it’s chaotic.
The challenge is determining where to be flexible on and where to be rigid. I think we can go our whole lives and not fully grasp both to a perfect extent.
I think so too! Maybe the issue itself is trying to fully grasp both to a perfect extent from our ordinary minds. For the most part, going with the flow is valuable approach to take but you also don't want to be like a leaf caught with the wind and being at the mercy of its direction. Exercising agency against the changing nature of life is really hard lol.
Thanks for stopping by :)
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