What if things don't go as planned?
What if the person didn't do what we agreed on?
What if, it's something I cannot easily walk away from?
Disappointments can come from any angle, and from any one. Absolutely anyone. You'd think the very ones close to you won't disappoint? Heh, think again, this time, very carefully because they will definitely have a falling short in one way or the other. We can only say and imagine how we would love something to happen but sometimes, you can't control how it happens eventually, leaving us feeling so frustrated and unhappy.
No matter how much I plan for the worst for every situation, sometimes my definition will be totally different from how disappointed I get in the end. Personally, I'm not so close with a lot of people. I have casual friends and people I'm generally nice to. But coming to friendships on deeper levels, it's hard to actually get one. But surprisingly, after I decided to be more open minded, I connected with this girl not too long ago and now it feels like she's my sister who's been hiding for ages.
Fast forward to this one time she had a mini social gathering at her place, it was quite long ago during the early stages of our friendship and invited me. Honestly, if it were to be someone else, I would've declined politely because first off, I don't like anything social gathering so much, especially when I don't know who and who are going to be there. Secondly, it was supposed to happen on a Saturday, I don't joke with my Saturdays. It's one of the days I use for chores at home and personal time too to relieve the stress for the week.
Despite all that, I decided to go and y'know have fun with my friend. Days before the gathering, we kept talking about how much fun we're going to have, the dance, the food and everything. Just normal hyping ourselves up . I was for the first time very excited to at least leave the house with hopes of having fun at a friend's.
The day came ,I dressed up and went over and was when I saw it wasn't just a mini gathering, it was like a full blown party, there were tons of people, half them
I don't even know. That was the first thing that threw me off considering how much uncomfortable I feel around people I haven't met for the first time. I searched for my friend because literally she's the only one I knew there, I saw her taking pictures with a few people, I waved, she saw me and waved back, giving me a sign that she's coming.
That was how I sat down waiting for her until there was no more patience left. Each time I look over to where she was, she was busy interacting with people. I didn't know who there were so I wasn't all that moved to join whatever the conversation. I tried severally to get her attention but she was like a mini celebrity at that moment, people were coming for pictures, laughter from their conversations were never ending but I was just there in the background like an invisible being.
I hated myself for coming all the way to the gathering that day. I sat there thinking of all the possible things I would've been doing with my time at home, at least I won't be ignored in a place where I know only one person. All the fun we were getting so excited about was missing and I wasn't happy or in any way enjoying the gathering. I had to leave quietly, I doubt she even noticed when I left but I did. The unwelcoming feeling was something I couldn't stand anymore. I waited for an explanation which came the next day when she called apologizing for the previous day. She said a lot of people at that gathering were people she hasn't seen for a long time, so she was carried away with excitement and catching up with them.
That still didn't make up for how I feel at the time we were talking but I tried understanding her point and letting go. I knew in the long run, it was her intention to make me feel that way. Was I disappointed? Very much, but good thing she found a way to reach out and soften the situation.
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