Disappointment is an inevitable part of human relationships and that is why in the part of the world I come from, it's not uncommon to hear people say, "every disappointment is a blessing". This is because we have gradually adapted to welcoming disappointments due to how common they are over here, however, that doesn't make it right.
No one loves disappointment even though they keep coming and worst more when you are disappointed by someone you least expected, maybe someone who is not just a friend but a close friend at that. It is really a painful one much more when you had all your hope on that particular friend, believing they will come through for you, only to be showered with ocean of disappointments.
Yes! I've been disappointed by not just somebody but people before I finally learnt the trick to avoiding the heartbreak that comes with it.
What did I discover? Lowering your expectations and having alternatives.
Disappointments often stems from expectations. When you trust someone so much, you naturally expect them to always come through for you whenever you call on them because of the special bond you think you people share believing that they would never let you down. And this is why when they fall short of your expectations, disappointments ensue. Lowering my expectations has helped me a lot and made me see disappointments as something very trivial.
Also, it's always unlikely for multiple people to disappoint you at the same time which is why I believe in having alternatives in case of disappointments.
For my case, the disappointment came from someone I held in high esteem, a friend who was like a brother to me. I trusted him without reservation, believing he took me the way I take him but unfortunately, his actions betrayed my trust in him.
It was during the cashless policy some years ago, he worked in a bank and as such had an upper hand to getting cash whenever it's available, so I gave him my ATM card to help me withdraw whenever there was cash. It was wrong to reveal my pin to anyone, but then, that was the only way and I needed the money for my transportation fare the next day and as someone who I've known for more than twelve years then and have been through life together, I expected him to come through for me.
My Joy knew no boundaries when I saw a debit alert signifying he has successfully withdrawn the money and I was filled with enthusiasm preparing to go to school that day.
The plan was to trek to the bank he works at, collect the money and then head to school.
Long story cut short, I met him and he couldn't give me a dime... He sold the money to make more profit and unfortunately, there was no cash again... I didn't go to school that day, it was really a painful experience.
While that incident might have been insignificant to him, to me, it left an indelible mark on the trust I had in him. It wasn't just about the disappointment, it was about the realization that my friend whom I placed on high esteem was flawed, the realization that he doesn't place me where I placed him because if he did, he will never leave me hung out to dry.
"I can't do this thing to him, why did he do this to me?" This question kept on reverberating in my head and was even more painful than the disappointment itself.
The most painful thing was him never feeling perturbed about his actions, but rather, offered to add extra cash and transfer back to me probably from the profit he made. Not that him apologising will in anyway provide the cash for me to get to school that day but then, apology also has a way of soothing disappointments and giving you the reassurance that this person admits he hurt you, but without apologising, it simply means he doesn't even care.
Disappointment, while painful, is not the end. This reminded me that life isn't always a perfect script, but regardless of whatever that happens, it's always important to move forward and never dwelling in the past disappointments but rather, allowing it to refine your present self.
Disappointments are always painful but it draws us back to accepting people the way they are because humans have flaws regardless of the trust you have in them making us admire the thin line between trust and realism.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day 👍
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #januaryinleo monthly topic Day 18.Please check out the prompt to get involved.
Posted Using INLEO
Good morning.
instead of me to be expecting, l prefer it to come as a surprise.
l have stop expecting things a long time ago, and be happy with what is with me at a given time.
It's better that way for real because humans are indescribable
Yes, you are right about it, have a happy weekend.
You too man
Thank you.
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