The Burning Coal Organization has gathered its best and most brilliant minds to prove once and for all to Timmy's parents that their son is a genius, but rather just as dumb as all kids. And that any question he asks while his mouth is filled with biscuits like "What is an orange juice made of?" is no sign of him being smart.
The Goal of this Study
Our brilliant minds have decided that they have nothing better to do than proving to Timmy, son of Einstein and Einsteina, is no different than any other kind. As well as dive into all the fallacies caused by the kid taking a break from farting and laughing at the sound of his own farts to ask "Mom, why can't I eat my booger?" which leads to his parents unable to differentiate him from Plato and Aristotle.
Fallacy Number 1: Mixing up Cuteness and Brilliance
Cuteness is the main attribute Timmy has, a trait attribute given to him by his parents and anyone else under their line of sight afraid of the wrath of the parents caused by disagreeing with the notion. Our scientists concluded that it is fair to call it cute when Timmy asks "What's Jack's name?", they also have no problem giving the "Cute" label to him when he grows up to be the size of a bull and asks his girlfriend how to make Corn Flakes.
However, they deduced that there is a mix-up between "cuteness", which falls under societal pretenses enforced by fragile parents, and brilliance, as the latter can actually be measured when it comes to someone you have to make choo choo sounds whenever you want them to eat vegetables.
This fallacy begins when the parents present their magnum opus of 7 minutes of sexual intercourse to their family and friends while awaiting with sharp looks the wave of complement to congratulate their humping result. The sharp looks of the Einsteins compel people around them to shower their son with any compliment of which they could think.
Compliments like how cute, beautiful, handsome, and a good kid he is. Taking it as far as saying that their stained kid looks a lot like his 76 years old grandmother. Upon stumbling on words, the people end up calling the kid brilliant while under pressure, this leads to the parents considering sending Timmy to Harvard at 8 years old.
Fallacy Number 2: Mixing up Brilliance with Doing Simple Tasks
This one accompanies the previous fallacy. In the early stages of Timmy's development; The parents think that he has grown and grown - and that God had kept a special eye on him - because he is a prophet and smarter than his peers - may God protect him further - and they begin to document Timmy's brilliance on Facebook so that we can see in audio and video Timmy, who learned to urinate and defecate with a towel without a teacher.
And then took his first steps with simple guidance, how is that even possible? And here is his saliva dripping on the face of the guests -Haha- who are subject to the authority of the hosts, assure them that their son’s saliva is delicious, tender, and sweet, flowing in a deliberate and streamlined manner, reflecting an intelligence that distinguishes him from his peers whose parents put a suppressive apron to them and take a quarter of an hour or more to burp, unlike Timmy, who brilliantly vomits continuously on the floor.
Fallacy Number 3: Mixing Up Chatter with Smart Questions
Little genius, Timmy, son of Einstein, grows up and begins translating the genius of his actions into words; His observations about life continue as he carries them with him to school. Where he is surprised and shocked - Oh My God - for the first time that the question "Why 1 + 1 does not equal 7?" is not met with a broad smile and a wave of warm applause followed by hugs and kisses and looks of satisfaction and admiration.
And because Timmy, dear parents of Timmy, is not a prophet, he will not understand why he does badly at every level of the school. So don't, please don't, push him to study medicine and buy him a seat at the university with your money and connections, so that the great Timmy removes the patient’s pancreas instead of his appendix.
In Conclusion
After millions of dollars, we spent on research, turns out that Timmy is as dumb as they come. Make sure to treat him as such. His observations and analysts of dodge ball after he was the first to be eliminated aren't signs of brilliance as much as they are signs he doesn't understand the game, so teach him how. Instead of pondering his brilliant questions, tell him why he shouldn't eat his booger.
Thanks for sharing on #pypt!
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I think It is made from corn on the cob shaving it down into minuscule flakes if I remember correct?
LOL love reading these they are a great addition for some much needed humor
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I lvoe a good satire, and this was funny. So many people, so serious, it's nice to see someone taking the time to have some fun and be thoughtful about it as well. I hope everyone will realize it is in good fun, and not be offended, thinking it is their BOY you're talking about!
I found this post via #PYPT and @dreemport.
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