Emotional Intelligence and Spam

This LUVshares post is a little different.

Something to think about...

We all know of intelligence and the intelligence quotient (IQ). Those seem simple enough: the former is supposed to be someone's smarts and the latter is a number that's supposed to conveniently represent those smarts. These are very debatable things. What is intelligence anyway? And does that number indeed reflect someone's intelligence? Or, is it kind of a cop-out we conveniently place on people's foreheads...just a number of how well someone figures out the math problems, vocab questions, and puzzles which largely make up the IQ test? And, can intelligence even be measured? If so, with a number? Who knows? Professors will debate.

There's another term in the world of psychology called "emotional intelligence" or "EQ", which is what this post is about. Of course, EQ is also hard to pin down, but I'll try.

A person with high emotional intelligence...	High EQ Example	Low EQ Example
Can perceive others' emotions.	"Mom can always sense when I'm mad, sad, glad, etc. even before I know it."	When you recently broke up with that long-time someone, the woman in the cubicle next door asks, "You're kind of a buzzkill. Why are you trying to bring me down every day? And check this photo of my awesome boyfriend!"
Knows how to interact with others at that time, or not.	"She seems sad, I think I'll just sit down beside her and be a friend right now. We can talk later."	That person who, when you mention that your job was just terminated in the downsizing, laughs and says, "Life's tough, Buttercup! Time to flip some burgers!" Hah hah.
Can sense his or her own emotions.	"This bothers me and I feel my anger growing right now."	"This voicemail is annoying me, annoying me, annoying me and my pulse is racing now, but I don't know why!"
Can manage himself or herself appropriately	"I'm really mad, but instead of breaking this teacup, I think I'll just go for a walk outside instead."	Throws Grandma's antique teacup and knocks a hole in the plaster wall, then texts back a nasty rant. (He'll later need to clean up and repair the wall.)

Basically, high EQ is a loving dog. When we need a friend to just be with us, dog's just know.

So, what does this have to do with LUVshares?

Two things:

I don't want LUVshares to be used or perceived as spam.
I hope that LUVshares will be used in a "high EQ" manner.

Regarding spam

When I started LUVshares, I airdropped about 2,000 LUV to many people in a pretty random fashion. The focus was with Hive-Engine users because, I figured, they would be the most likely to know what to do with an H-E token...buy/sell,/give, whatever. I realize sending unsolicited tokens is a bit spammy. (I also know it's done continually in crypto and is almost baked into the crypto space. That's not to justify it, but I think that's a fact.)

One user sent back the LUV tokens with the memo "dont need this s***"

I apologized for any inconvenience and thanked the person for returning the LUV. In my view, it's totally fine that someone does not want a certain token, especially an unsolicited one. My guess is that there are others who didn't want the LUV tokens and just ignored or sold them (which is fine too). I actually think it's commendable that this person took the time to send the LUV back. Personally, though, I would phrased the memo differently.

My point is, I respect that not everyone wants to receive the LUV token (or any others that might come their way unsolicited). This is a little bit of a flaw in the "appreciation token" arena...they come to you whether you wish to receive them or not. They come like junk mail in the mailbox, like spam in the inbox. I think most who receive LUV consider it a positive, but I'm sure not all do.

LUV is growing and it's growing faster than I guessed it would have. This is great and is in line with the mission. Yet, I do not want LUV to be used or perceived as spam. This is not entirely easy to delineate. One user loves LUV. One user "don't need this ----".

If you wish to quiet the LUVbot notifications:

When someone receives LUV from another Hive user applying the LUVbot, a notification pops up in the receiver's feed. I've recently shortened this notification to hopefully make it less obtrusive. Yet, it's there.

This morning, I noticed a well-known Hiver had received LUV from another Hiver. Great! Yet, on this receiver's feed, the notification had been "suppressed", so to speak. You can do the same.

If you wish to, you can quiet the notifications saying "you've been given LUV" (yet still receive the LUV token) by using the mute feature. This how-to-mute article by @jarvie is great. Using PeakD, I'll try to summarize:

go to the whatever account you wish to mute
click "Interactions"
click "Mute"

In the case of the @LUVshares account, the "you've got LUV" message will be grayed out at the bottom of your feed, like below.

You'll still receive LUV tokens in your Hive-Engine wallet. You can click "Display comment" and open the notification to read it...you may wish to see who the terrible person was who sent you LUV, or maybe you don't need this shtuff.

And just by the way, that well known Hive user replied to the grayed out comment with, "Thank you for $LUV". :)

Regarding using LUV in a "high EQ" manner

It's my hope that LUV is given with LUVshares' intent in mind: to spread love around the Hive blockchain. In my view, this means doing so with a high emotional intelligence. This is not entirely easy. The internet, and especially text-based internet, strips away many emotional and communicative signals. Maybe most signals. Things like voice inflection is muted and body language is blinded. Only the bare words remain to go from. I've heard that something like 90% of what we communicate face-to-face is not what we say, but is conveyed in other ways. Not sure how that number comes up, but I tend to believe premise it conveys.

I think we all can conjure an example of when we've received a text or email that seemed aggressive. Maybe we responded aggressively back, then, after getting into an email or chat tussle, later realized the words were not meant as they were perceived.

Or, consider that photo of a perfect family on a perfect vacation with a perfect newborn, that was shared on social media. Though it's likely shared pure in joy (and this is wonderful!) and it's likely shared without any malice, consider...a woman who always a wanted a family, but who is biologically unable to have a child and all alone to boot. Her response to that photo may be different than what was intended.

A side-story as an example...

A couple of years ago, a young mother of two, was in the grab-a-snack line after church one Sunday. I'd known her for years and watched her grow up, had worked with her husband, "Tom", and her son was in my Sunday School class at the time. As I focused on spreading cream cheese on my bagel, and to make small talk, I stupidly asked, "Hey, how's Tom?" I honestly was curious because I'd known him quite a while and hadn't seen him in a spell. I immediately knew I'd made a mistake. She paused and said, "He's fine." But, her body language was screaming inside. She turned and left the room abruptly. I felt terrible. Later, her mother spoke to me, just to "fill me in." Tom had left her, just a few days prior. He'd decided that he wanted no longer to have any part with his family and had "run off with his secretary." How cliché. The kids were with her and she was going to be the sole/main provider going forward. Wow. "How's Tom?"

I try to be very careful with my words in face-to-face time with others, except when spreading cream cheese. Nature is odd and amazing. I've had poor hearing all my life. I half-hear everything and half-miss things. Often, I say dumb things in responses because I receive the message wrong. This deficiency, I think, has helped me become better at sensing others' non-verbal language. The same way that a hole in the ground will eventually fill in to the level, one void gets compensated in another way. 90% of communication is not what we say? She said, "He's fine." She did not say that she was not fine at all. I sure missed the signals that one day in the church snack line. Applying EQ is not always easy.

Summary

When sharing LUV, my suggestion is to be authentic. Use your best EQ skills, give LUV when it has real meaning to you. Likely, a real, authentic note of some sort helps. I think most people will respect this.

So, (1) it's okay by me to mute @LUVshares if you wish. And (2), I hope that LUVshares users will be careful with sharing LUV.

Just something to think about...

-@crrdlx

Edit: typo and grammar.

Check your wallet or trade LUV at: Hive-Engine or TribalDEX or LeoDEX.

Visit the LUVstore: LUVstore

LUVshares Discord: https://discord.gg/K5GvNhcPqR

LUVshares creator: @crrdlx

LUV should be shared. Share the LUV.

_{Posted via proofofbrain.io}

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mirilarbarr (54) 3 years ago

I'm a total newbie here and I am still figuring out how it all works, what this LUV thing is all about. I'm here on peakd for the sharing of art and ideas that's going on, rather than the crypto. I dig the EQ links you make and the discussion about how one thing can have totally disparate meanings for different people and in different situations. How's Tom indeed! Great example. I wonder if you might want to subscribe to the C/Psychology community I am trying to get started here (as of yesterday). Do you mind if I cross-post this?

$0.00

1 vote

crrdlx (67) 3 years ago

Hi there. Hive is pretty cool, I think. It does take some time, but it starts to click. The LUV thing...the idea is simply to "spread love around the Hive blockchain." Similar to upvoting a post, which is great and gives bit of Hive (often small, sometimes big is a whale upvotes), you can also give the LUV token. You need 10 LUV to do this, by the way, then you can give 3 per day. Check your wallet at hive-engine.com Anyway, the idea is that you're giving the person some love, like I love what you wrote, but you're also giving a LUV token. They can be sold/bought/given away on the Hive-Engine market at hive-engine.com or tribaldex.com (same thing, just looks different). I just subscribed to your psych group. :) !LUV

Oh, and of course you can cross-post/reblog. :)

luvshares (58) 3 years ago

@mirilarbarr, you were given LUV from @crrdlx. About: https://peakd.com/@luvshares https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmUptF5k64xBvsQ9B6MjZo1dc2JwvXTWjWJAnyMCtWZxqM

eolianpariah (64) 3 years ago

i doubt there are many who perceive LUV as spam. i share it when appropriate, certainly not randomly. it is still a good idea to have the mute though

I think you're right both ways: most people probably like to get LUV, the mute option is good too. I just don't want the "you got LUV" notifications to become a nuisance in someone's notification box or on the threads on a chat. I appreciate your feedback. !LUV

@eolianpariah, you were given LUV from @crrdlx. Info: https://peakd.com/@luvshares or check wallet: https://hive-engine.com https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmUptF5k64xBvsQ9B6MjZo1dc2JwvXTWjWJAnyMCtWZxqM

ajanaku (54) 3 years ago

Thank for the post ,my mission is to accumulate more ,I think I will include love token to it

hivebuzz (74) 3 years ago

Congratulations @crrdlx! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You published more than 700 posts.
Your next target is to reach 750 posts.

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