When I was a child I had experienced something like that, where I kept a kacer bird, I raised the bird from a baby to growing up. one day I forgot to lock the door, and finally the bird came out of the cage, for 4 days the sound of this bird was not far from my ears, as if asking for food, or a blanket to sleep. while I cry every time I hear his voice. on the 5th day I no longer heard the sound of birds coming off. I don't know what happened. and since then I do not want to choose animals with no freedom. and that thing I can't forget until now.
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Sorry to hear your story. I know that when we are young, things have a much bigger effect on us. I always prefer free animals without walls and one day I hope to have more space to allow it. My son is all about animals at the moment and I thought Goldfish would be a great first pet to encourage his interest.
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tokens.