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So, your best friend's brother-in-law's landlord's high school classmate's ex-girlfriend’s second husband told you about hive and here you are!
But its day 2 and you're still not a whale.
How do you get people to vote your post about making homemade eggs?
As a hive veteran, I'm here to help.
Include a multitude of stickers and banners - The post should be 100 words but sticks and banners make it longer, colorful, and easy to understand by the average toddler.
Learn Spanish - you would be forgiven if you think hive is a Spanish language platform where a bunch of English-speaking weirdos are trying too hard. Spanish will help you broaden your horizon.
Find a sugar whale - There are many whales creeping about in hive, catch one of them in a net of sycophancy and you get a guaranteed income scheme aka autovote.
Join a
circle jerktribe - Find like-minded people who are also looking to make money by making posts about things nobody cares about. Connect with them ask about the weather, abuse politicians, send nudes, whatever helps you.Money can't buy love - but it can buy upvotes. You're like a politician, you fund your hive power, self-upvote for good health and acquire minions who leave grammatically incorrect comments on your posts.
This blog is a satire. Don't take this or anything too seriously.
@meesterboom this is for you, don't upvote but think of it as the haiku post.
So many think it's instant gratification, but it's not. I've been on the Blockchain since June of 2017... No Whale status for me.
That could be because I have Delegated half my HP to help spread positive energy! Or... because I like COD... Anyway, great satirical take on important concepts lol...
SugarWhale
!LUV @tipu curate! !giphy Satire
Via Tenor
I'm sure you've dealt with the get rich quick types many times, glad you still find it funny.
The work you guys do can be tiring.
Sugar whale. Awesome.
Upvotes for upvote minoin checking in! !PIZZA !LUV
$PIZZA@diebitch! I sent you a slice of on behalf of @failingforwards.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (1/20)
The deal was supposed to be secret!
Opps ,!PIZZA
$PIZZA@diebitch! I sent you a slice of on behalf of @failingforwards.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (3/20)
Hahaha, much better than a haiku!!
I was mega annoyed on day two when I still wasn't s whale. Then day 3,4,5... 70 tenteen etc 🤣🤣
Hahahahaha! This is funny. Nice tips.
Glad you like it
!PIZZA
$PIZZA@teknon! I sent you a slice of on behalf of @diebitch.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (4/10)
Wow I feel altogether helped and attacked lol kidding about the attack.
Really useful tips though, especially about language.
The basics aren't too hard to learn and there are many browser extensions to translate sections of text or entire pages.
I really needed that extra push about banners and stuff, thanks for that. I was thinking about it again recently while drafting a post and you're absolutely right. Shiny things 🐱
Keep on keeping on 💜
haha secretly glad that you felt jokingly attacked
That's how satire should be taken
@diebitch, you were given LUV from @wesphilbin. About LUV: https://peakd.com/@luvshares
@diebitch, you were given LUV from @failingforwards. About LUV: https://peakd.com/@luvshares
Nice I like where you coming from…. We want a sugar whale…. Eat !PIZZA
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Let me know if you find one
!PIZZA
$PIZZA@stickupboys! I sent you a slice of on behalf of @diebitch.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (1/10)
Ok will go fishing
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$PIZZA@diebitch! I sent you a slice of on behalf of @stickupboys.
Learn more about $PIZZA Token at hive.pizza (3/20)